Filling the Great Needs: What am I Called to Do?

I decided to take a break outside the house for a bit and breathe for once. I took some time to relax and reorient my thought on the happenings from the past several months.

I happened to be finishing up on a military chaplaincy discernment retreat when I read that my state would be undergoing a strict stay-at-home order due to the outbreak of COVID-19. A couple of months later, George Floyd was murdered, triggering a sociopolitical powder-keg which had been decades (arguably centuries) in the build-up. Coupled with this was a series of disappearances and murders within the ranks of the Army I loved with my whole heart.

So much brokenness in our country right now. This new decade has indeed ushered in a new chapter in our society: an era of mistrust, violence, and many unanswered questions. Many of my friends, family, and peers are devastated and burnt out by surrounding tensions. I've listened to some of these conversations, and I'm personally afraid of being on the "wrong side" of history.

Then, I remember my time at St. Patrick's Seminary during the retreat. Looking through the notes I took during those talks, I find a note I wrote down about "filling the great need." Now, I know this likely pointed to filling the need for military chaplains, but I think today's situations bring this bullet point to a much deeper meaning and calling.

Much of my prayer time was spent asking God for Him to do something. Unfortunately, this mentality often places God in the role of a holy vending machine which automatically grants us wishes if we say enough Our Fathers and Hail Marys within a particular period of time. Prayer is not magic that demands that God conform to us; it is an exercise which challenges us to manifest the will of God on our part. In other words, we ask God to on how we can answer the "great need" in our daily lives, because "faith without works is dead" (James 2:26).

I currently am on track to commission as an Army Officer as well as to be licensed as an Illinois teacher (by the way, the statements in my blog are by no means official statements or endorsement from the Department of Defense). In light of all the brokenness in America today, I hope I can help fill the "great needs" in the lives of my future students as well as the soldiers I may be leading. I know I can't fix everything, but I can sure as hell plant some seeds. I just hope things do change for the better after this subsides.

"You pray for the hungry. Then you feed them. This is how prayer works." --Pope Francis

 Memory Eternal:
George Floyd
SPC Vanessa Guillen
SPC Enrique Roman-Martinez
Breonna Taylor
PFC Gregory Wedel-Morales

Lord, have mercy on everyone lost and broken in these tragedies.

Confessions of a Former Culture Warrior

Dusting off the cover of this rusty old blog, I feel like I have to get this out of my system.

In some of the recent altercations I've witnessed on social media, I have seen a significant increase of vitriolic exchanges between opposing political camps. There is a general environment of mistrust and close-mindedness that had led to an endless cycle of buzzwords and name-calling which leads conversations off the cliff.

Witnessing this in several circles, I can't help but slam my fists on my desk as I read through the clashes of discourse in the comments sections. No one seems to listen to anyone but their own kind. Stereotypes and political profiling are rampant and memed throughout the feeds. I don't know why anyone would settle within their own discourse and think that their own arguments are ends in themselves.

I, too, participated in a culture war against the "evil" liberal Other. I was brought up to believe that the liberal agenda was directly receiving orders from Satan himself and their discourse was not worth listening to. The stereotypical liberal for me was the anarchist, anti-theist, gay agenda "pusher" who would stop at nothing to destroy all that we live for. It became hard for me to be a listener, and I burned a lot of bridges and friendships for the sake of the crusade. Then college came, and I found myself surrounded by a menagerie of humanity. Different religions, ideologies, backgrounds, etc. My crusader upbringing kicked in, and the whole campus felt like I was in the midst of the enemy.

In listening to the different views and perspectives, however, I realized that I forgot to be human in my Christian upbringing. Sure, Jesus flipped tables and used insulting analogies to humble the religious leaders, but how does that ever give me license to belittle "lawbreakers" and "low-lifes"? Sounds like I've turned myself into a Pharisee. Did not Christ say He came to call sinners, and that those who are not sick do not need a doctor? How have I been treating those from harsh backgrounds and origins? They are afflicted, but they are human beings, products of the Creator with a dignity equal to my own.

I've thrown away the life of the culture warrior. I've learned to actually listen to know my "enemy" better. Wasn't Mother Church built on genuine human relationships, and were not those relationships built on genuine conversation? Did not the Apostles bring the Church into being at Pentecost when they preached to pilgrims in various languages? What happened to that?

Then again, I'm done ranting. It's just a rabble at this point, and no one is going to listen to this. Just another voice in the crowd with no sense of direction.

It's That Time of Year Again!

For many of my Roman Catholic readers, Lent is just around the corner; whether you're feasting on pączki or king cake (depending on whether you're a Northerner or Southerner, respectively), the time of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving starts on Ash Wednesday. As for us Melkite Catholics--as well as all Eastern Catholics and Eastern/Oriental Orthodox--Lent's started early or later (depending on whether you're on the Julian or Gregorian calendar).

Sweets and calendars aside, you've probably thought about what you're giving up for Lent. Some of you may have decided to keep a small simple fast, such as candy or fast food. Others may have decided to go all out monastic this year and go vegan for the next 40-50 days. Still others may have given up habits, such as smartphone usage, internet browsing, or swearing. Whatever your fast is, I wish you the best and keep you in my prayers:

"Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him." --Romans 14:3

Everyone has their own individual journey to go through during Lent. In anticipation of the rebirth of our lives on the feast of Pascha/Easter, we journey together with Jesus in the wilderness, facing temptations to break our fast as well as self-reflections of our falls and shortcomings. Yes, we acknowledge that we are sinners from dust and to dust we shall return, but we are called to rise from the ashes as a new creation, stronger and better than our yesterday.

Wherever you are in life, use Lent as an opportunity for growth. Whether you're at a spiritual high or dry time, we are always called to grow and discern in our life in Christ and His Church.

As an added bonus to this post, I will keep you posted on almsgiving opportunities that you can give to for this Lenten season. Here's the first one.

St. William School Class of 2018 Graduation Fund!

As a 2009 alumni of St. William Catholic School, I'm very proud of how my faith foundation was laid out. My faith journey so far was made possible by my religious education at St. William, and I'm more than willing to support its students as they go out to the next chapters in their lives. This year's 8th grade class, the Class of 2018, is struggling to fund their graduation as well as the school's operation itself. Please take some time to give or at least share this fundraiser; it would personally mean much to me to keep my old school running. God bless y'all!

At Least One More Before 2017 Ends!

Good evening readership! A thousand apologies for the holdup since last month. Unfortunately, work and school took over for the second half of 2017, and I couldn't update any content on this blog, subsequently.

I owe y'all another big update. I've recently finished my first online semester with George Mason University, and that frees up time to write more in spite of what little time I have left until 2018 starts (along with the next class I have to take in the spring semester). In addition, I've successfully uploaded my application for graduate school; please keep me in your prayers for that.

I've got a ton of new adventures coming up next year, by the way...

On the last week of January, I'll be going on a trip to the Philippines to visit family. It'll be the shortest time I'll be spending in my island home due to work, but I'll be sure to make the most of it! As an added bonus, my penny-pinching self decided to take the cheapest flight home, resulting in the 15-hour, home-bound layover in Seoul; that might make for an interesting blog post.

Currently in development is a trip to Pittsburgh. I'll be visiting the Byzantine Catholic Seminary there for a personal tour/retreat there. More to follow...

Short as it is, that's all I've been up to so far. I'll be rolling out more writing sooner than you think! See ya!

Refresher Week!

I get to relax for once!

As I sit here awaiting Game 3 of the 2017 World Series, I reflect on a remarkably productive week. I decided to arrange my agenda into a schedule for once (I know, I was ridiculously disorganized up until this point. I'm surprised I've made it so far in that state). It's amazing to see how one little change could relieve so much stress over daily errands!

I'm more or less caught up on my online classes and I'm anxious to get this semester over with. At the same time, I'm doing some finishing touches on my graduate school application and I hopefully will get that in by early November. I'm excited to begin a new chapter at my old university.

I'm starting to get the hang of adulting a bit. I'm slowly but surely learning to handle my own resources and prioritize my errands. I'm actually becoming less worried about the money in my pocket, and I pray I never let that become my idol. Quick shoutout to my parents for helping me on the way for the past couple decades!

I had a blast going to a couple of Halloween parties this week. I decided to use an old costume idea from a few years ago:

They said I could be anything, so I became an internet meme...

This morning, I went to Confession for spiritual refreshment. In addition, I called up the vocations director for the Melkite Eparchy of Newton, Father John Azar. More to come in later posts...

In summa, I loved this week. There wasn't anything significantly bad about it, and I feel much better than with previous recent weeks. It's a bunch of little things, but it's a bunch that made a positive impact. It's the little blessings that God rains upon us each and every single day.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:34

Falling Roses

I woke up this morning and checked my news feed. First item I see is a post about a mass shooting at a Jason Aldean concert at Las Vegas. At work, I watch news coverage about this tragedy; it pained my heart seeing the footage of gunfire erupting onto the crowds. With more than fifty dead and hundreds more wounded, today has shaken me to the core.

I mourn those lost, and I extend my sympathy and prayers to their loved ones. To save a portion of your life to be with those you love only to witness them being taken away is senseless and outrageous. It is absolutely unfair for that joy to be taken away.

As I sit in my room writing in silence, I reflect on the movement of the souls present on that day. Joyful souls celebrating with those they loved. A disturbed soul moved to inflict death and sorrow. The joyful souls turning to fear and anxiety when the pain is wrought. And brave souls pouring in to protect the helpless.

In the midst of sorrow and rage in the aftermath of the attack, I stress that we do not forget the love pouring in that night. I want to extend thanks to the first responders who came in to provide safety and security for the victims; these are people to look to as inspiration. In spite of the darkness covering that event, there were people who came to serve as beacons of love showering hope upon everyone. From first responders to those calling in and praying to ensure their loved ones' safety, many acts of love were committed that day in response to the gunman's singular act of hatred.

I'm not writing to debate gun control or any issue related to this. I reflect on the trial of human suffering; in spite of the worst that can be brought out of humanity, it can never truly quench the good that can come out of those willing to sacrifice for others. In the midst of tragedy and suffering exemplified by the recent hurricanes and last night's attack, never lose your focus on the good, little as it may seem.

"I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. I will let fall a shower of roses." --St. Therese of Lisieux

I found it fitting to use this quote from St. Therese, as her feast day was just yesterday. In her short life, she committed numerous little acts of love that nonetheless impacted her family, her congregation, and ultimately, the Church. Her "Little Way" serves as a model for those who might think their little good cannot overcome the evils in this world. As long as there is commitment to Love, hatred and evil cannot conquer us. In the midst of evil, let fall your roses.

Thank You, Chester.

I was driving back home, with my phone hooked via AUX cord, and this song started playing:

I haven't delved deep enough into Linkin Park's music enough to consider myself a fan, but, in light of Chester Bennington's passing (as late as this post may be), I wanted to share how this particular song brought closure to one of the darkest chapters in my life.

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control

A year prior to the release of Linkin Park's A Thousand Suns (the album in which this song is found), I was facing multiple struggles in my first semester of high school. I couldn't maintain consistency in my studies, and I was struggling to make passing grades in a couple of my classes. To make matters worse, I let myself become the victim of bullying and harassment; I was making an idiotic spectacle of myself in front of my peers, no matter how many times I tried to stand up for myself. It was only the first semester of my freshman year, and I was already being caught up in the storm of high school drama.

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead

The breaking point came towards the end of that semester. I had been chatting with a classmate on Facebook regarding one of the students who had been bullying me, but misunderstandings led to argument, and it escalated to the point where I, in a fit of uncontrolled rage, sent online threats to peers who I suspected of sympathizing with the bullies. At that point, I felt like the world was falling apart and collapsing on me, and that decision threw me into confusion and self-doubt. I regretted my decision and deleted the filth I had posted up, but the deed had been done.

Soon after, the incident had been reported to the school, and I was subsequently withdrawn from the student roll, a de facto expulsion. The story spread to the other schools in the area; I had to move to a new district, as my family feared backlash from students who heard about this. In addition, I had to be placed in psych rehab for about a month before I was considered fit to go back to school.

I was completely shattered by what I had done, mentally and spiritually. I quietly contemplated suicide while I languished in a sea of regret and helplessness. I didn't see any reason to keep going in life; I felt forever marked by this sin I had committed.

So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again

Thank God for a wonderful family I was born into. My parents, in spite of the gravity of the situation, never gave up on me. They worked their butts off finding a new school for me and constantly kept me in their prayers, taking me to see Jesus Himself in the Adoration chapel at St. Catherine's in Glenview. Whatever friends I had left after the incident encouraged me to move on, maintaining my resolve to reform and strengthen myself.


Of all the regret and despair that had flooded my mind during my freshman year, I still had some residue of in spite of successfully finding a new environment to thrive in. "What if it happens again next year? What would I do then?" I still had more questions even after that issue had been resolved (on the surface, at least).

It was then that I stumbled onto this song while I was watching a couple of music videos on TV. The message from Waiting For The End struck deep into my heart. I wasn't alone in struggles such as what I went through. There is hope even in the deepest pitfalls of life. Life in general will be hard and trying, but you can push through, with the added bonus of a support group.

It's been almost eight years since that life event, and I still feel the effects, though in a different light. Though I had been broken down to the core, I found an opportunity to grow and learn from my mistakes. I have a more positive outlook on life; I carry my crosses, but I know it doesn't end on Calvary. Am I still struggling? Of course I am, and life will drag on with such, but at least I know I'm not alone and that I can always reach out for even the tiniest spark of hope.

For those of you who may be struggling right now, I hope this little piece of mine helps, shoddy as it is. If you or someone you know may be contemplating taking your own life, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255; that one call could turn the tide of your life.

To conclude this post: Thank you, Chester. Your music saved this life and countless others; may your work continue to impact lives around the world.

Thanks for stopping by! Follow the Mapping on Facebook and/or Instagram for future blog updates!

No Such Thing as a "True Copy"

While I was studying for my digital humanities course this semester, I came across an interesting article entitled, "Building Meaning in Digitized Photographs". It feels a bit strange to write about an academic work in a casual blog like this, but what I read had me thinking about a personal issue many of us have encountered at least once in our life.

Cutting to the chase, the author, Paul Conway, talks about the implications surrounding the digitization of images. Conway brings to question whether or not these digital copies are true and equal to the analog originals from which they were taken. He then draws various examples of different copying methods and analyzes how "true" these copies are to the originals. In spite of advancements in digitization technology, Conway concluded that digitized images were--to some extent--altered copies of their originals and thus never the "true" originals.

The reason why I'm bringing this article up is that it relates to the idea of the role model or the "idol". We all have had people to look up to as examples on how to live our life. "I want to be like them!" "I want to be selfless as her!" "I wish I could be as talented as them!" Questions like these race through our minds as we think about the people we admire. It's a good thing to look up to exemplary people such as our family and friends, but when does one take it too far?

As much as we can copy the good deeds we witness (and I pray that we continue to do so), we are not meant to copy another one's life to the smallest detail. Our interests may not be the same. I might be called for one thing, and you may be called to do another. You cannot force yourself to conform 100% to someone else's lifestyle in the hopes that you can do exactly what they do; you will inadvertently have a different experience and perspective from what the other has, no matter how detailed your "equivalent" is.

Besides, if everyone lived out their lives the same as each other--like the society portrayed in Lois Lowry's "The Giver"--where is the dynamic beauty of diversity and originality? Life wouldn't be as motivating and adventurous if you knew how it was going to turn out based on what you've seen in others. You have your own story; you have been authored by the Author of Life Himself, with the next chapters hidden away for you to write out by your choices. The world is a library of books coming and going, and you have a chance to write the next inspirational best-seller for generations to read. You can cite from past works, but your work must be your own. It is the newness of your impact that makes the difference. Pass on the ideas, but make it your own in your place in your time; that will be the epicenter of your works.

"...I saw that all the flowers He has created are lovely. The splendour of the rose and whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. I realised that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness and there would be no wild flowers to make the meadows gay." --St. Thérèse of Lisieux, "The Story of a Soul"

Thanks for stopping by! Give the blog a follow here, or follow blog updates on Facebook and Instagram!

Roman Catholic No More

My name is Mark, and I am no longer a Roman Catholic. You may or may not have heard that right.

As of this point in my life, I have left the rites and traditions of this Church, and I am no longer bound to them. All that I was obligated to observe as a Roman Catholic will no longer be considered my tradition. Ash Wednesday? Not something I am encouraged to do now. Divine Mercy Sunday? Not on my calendar either. Easter Sunday? Don't call it Easter anymore.

I've moved on from a defining chapter in my life, and there's no turning back now. I know, it's shocking. But I never said I was straight up leaving the faith, you know.

PLOT TWIST: I'm still Catholic, though not as many would assume.

Today, with the approval of both Cardinal Blase Cupich and Bishop Nicholas Samra, I have transferred from the Latin Catholic Church to the Melkite Greek Catholic Church.

It is true that I am no longer bound to the Latin Church, but who said the Catholic Church was simply that one church? It's much bigger than that.

Truth is, I have discovered that Catholicism is more than just Rome. It is not a single tradition, but rather a family of various Rites and traditions from across the globe. While Latin Catholics commence the Lenten fast on Ash Wednesday, other Catholics have already begun their third day or even third week of Great Lent. While the Latins bury the Alleluia for the duration of Lent, others still proclaim the joyful cry of the Resurrection before the Gospel. The Latins have their Masses, other Catholics have Qurbono on Sunday, yet others have a Divine Liturgy to celebrate.

Truth is, I never the Church altogether. I found more family members, and they have lovingly taken me in as one of their own. I still appreciate my heritage from my Latin Catholic upbringing, and it is that, combined with my new home, that I find what is truly means to be a Catholic.

My name is Mark, and I am now a Melkite Catholic. Yep, you heard that right. Or you may have never heard of that Rite.

The Fatima Experience

Today is a very special day for Catholics across the globe. Today marks the 100th anniversary of the Marian apparitions at Fatima, Portugal. In concurrence with this event, Pope Francis has canonized two of the child visionaries, Francisco and Jacinta Marto, adding them to the number of saints raised to the altars.

"On Portugal's cove on the thirteenth of May, the Virgin Maria appeared at midday."

The devotion to Our Lady of Fatima was one of the first prayers I learned as a Catholic. I read the stories on how Mary appeared to three shepherd children at the Cova da Iria in Fatima and how much those children suffered at the hands of anticlerical authorities for believing in such things. I read on the secrets revealed by Mary to the children and how they would play out for the rest of the twentieth century. I read on Sister Lucia dos Santos's life and subsequent work with the Church in the decades following the apparitions.

There was a lot of other crazy stories pertaining to the visions from various perspectives, like the disputed fulfillment of the Third Secret and the oft-debated Consecration of Russia. But, in spite of all the controversy and conspiracy theories being thrown about, now I've learned that all this is not meant to be the main focus when discussing the Fatima visions. No, it is way off to be focusing on those.

Mary's gist at Fatima, from my perspective, is clear and straightforward. The world now is in a terrible state, having endured two global conflicts, the Cold War, and terrorism; even on more local levels, families are broken, mistrust is built within communities, and personal doubts plague each and every one of us to some degree. But there is one way out, as advised by Sister Lucia: keep praying. Prayer is our lifeline to God and through which our hearts are opened to renewing grace. The consecration of a country isn't going to do much if we cannot consecrate ourselves individually; it takes penance and constant acknowledgement of who God is and our role in relation to Him.

What happened at Fatima was not simply some Delphic oracle promising nothing but Armageddon, but rather it is heaven throwing another lifeline for mankind held hostage by sin and darkness. Question is, are you going to climb that line?

Justinian's Hymn and God's Marriage Proposal

The Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom is an ancient and beautiful worship service celebrated by many Catholic and Orthodox Christians of the Byzantine tradition. Theology is highly integrated in the prayers spoken by the clergy and laity to the point where the divine and the material are intertwined at a single point. I am proud to be part of a Catholic parish which lives out this theology every Sunday morning.

One of my favorite prayers from the Divine Liturgy is the Hymn of Justinian, whose composure is generally attributed to the emperor for whom it was named after. It is a simple paragraph on the surface, but deep down, it is a prayer and a profession of faith in what and who Christ is and our relationship with Him.

"O Only Begotten Son and Word of God, immortal as You are..."

First and foremost, we acknowledge the divinity and omnipotence of God, particularly focusing on God the Son. He is infinite and the source of existence itself; no human mind can fully comprehend who He is.

"...You condescended for our salvation..."

In spite of our insignificance in comparison to Him, God loved, loves, and will love us. In spite of our imperfections, He opened the way for our eternal redemption.

"...to be incarnate of the Holy Theotokos, and ever-virgin Mary, and without undergoing change You became man."

The way he opened the gates to paradise was taking on our nature, not merely assuming a human likeness. In a harmonic union with his divinity, Christ assumed full humanity, experiencing all that humans would endure, including suffering, and ultimately, death.

"You were crucified, O Christ God, and You trampled death by Your death."

Picture this. The gates of Hades open to receive another soul taken from the earth. Business as usual, perhaps? But this is no ordinary arrival. Although this soul's arrival was clearly a result of a mortal death, it is at the same time the Soul of a divine being. Hades has no choice but to let this soul rejoin to the body from which it was separated, as the realm of the finite has no room for the infinite. But this means much more than this. A mortal, yet immortal being rising from the dead? Inconceivable. That would mean that other mortal souls could exit Hades as well. Christ has broken the chains of death! The power of Hades no longer imprisons the just souls awaiting the opening to Paradise. The game has changed forever.

"You who are one of the Holy Trinity, equal in glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit, save us."

With God's plan of salvation culminating in the Incarnation, Passion, and Resurrection, a new chapter begins in our biography. Now, we have a chance at communion with God. As He fully partook in our human nature, we in turn are invited to partake in the divinity of Christ. This is our faith, our destiny with the divine. It is a celebration of a union, a wedding between heaven and earth.

"God became man so that man could become like God." --St. Athanasius

Pascha and the Lenten Fast I Didn't Even Know I Was Doing

Christ is Risen! Alleluia! Familiar words for faithful Christians after a laborious observance of Lent. Through forty days of prayer, fasting, and alms-giving, and then the culmination of the Triduum, we arrive once more at the joyous holy day of Pascha/Easter!

This Lent was very challenging for me this year. I faced several difficulties and temptations which often threw me off my intended path. I often forgot that we were in Lent and I found myself falling into old habits which I believed to have discarded long ago. My prayer time became a roller-coaster of talking to God vs. mumbling a few Jesus Prayers without really paying attention to my own words. I became doubtful and questioned my commitment not only to this year's Lent, but to my faith in general.

But this questioning and doubt was in itself a wake-up call for me, a sort of subconscious Lenten sacrifice. I may have had numerous failings during the season, but I'm very glad to have noticed the issues. It is this self-assessment which assisted me as I explained my Lenten situation to the priests in the confessionals and allowed me to better shape my outlook on where God was leading me. I felt affirmed by the various friends I turned to for guidance and accountability. Visiting Christ Himself in the Eucharist bathed me in a sea of assurance and hope that my questions and doubts would be answered at the proper time.

It was in this Holy Week that I saw everything fall into place; I witnessed it in a way larger than I had expected. There was a warmth in my soul that I had not felt since I left for basic training in August, and there was also a greater pull--an acceleration in movement towards where God was leading me. I think I know where to go further at this point, though, of course, there is quite some uncharted territory left to go. Something to pray for more ardently as the years come and go.

It's key that we check ourselves once in a while. Perhaps there may be something we may have overlooked in the questions we ask ourselves daily. Not only can we find a potential answer, but also potential new questions to help better understand where God is leading us. As questions and answers come and go, we discover hidden treasures within ourselves which God has laid out.

What roads and treasures do you think God has laid out for you?

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." --Jeremiah 1:5a

A Spark of Conversion

Not too long ago, I found an advertisement on Facebook for a web series entitled "City of Saints". I was interested and signed up to receive updates on new episodes. Yesterday, I received an email informing me of the new episode, which you can view yourself in the link provided.

City of Saints Episode 1: The Good Thief

After having viewed this, I was exceptionally touched by Alex's conversion story. I, along with many others, can relate to the struggles, both external and internal, that he had faced in life. Many times, I often felt that I had no one to turn to for guidance, no matter where I looked.

It took various personal struggles in high school and college for me to realize that God the Father is always watching over me, even when I feel like He's not there. Every fall I have experienced has led to a greater rise; and it will only become greater in the years to come, in spite of the trials yet to come, as long as I keep my desires fixed on Christ, the Summit of my life.

Faith has always been important. With the recent troubles going on in our communities, we need to keep our focus on hope and strive to repair and build up those who cannot sustain themselves. We all have a calling to change at least one person's life and potentially start a chain reaction of change; question is, are we going to answer it?

I highly recommend that you sign up to subscribe to the City of Saints series. There are more inspirational stories to come! Also, please like my Facebook page and follow me on Instagram for blog updates! Thanks for stopping by!

Break from the Break

Life can get pretty hectic, even when you think you're in a break period.

Today, I went on a men's retreat at St. John Cantius in Chicago (aka America's Most Beautiful Church). Figured I needed to reflect a little more on where I've gone in life and to discern a little more where God wanted to take me.

There was a lot of material given during the retreat talks relating to faith and theology, but what really struck me was the prayer involved. Undergoing the Sacrament of Penance, attending Holy Mass, and praying the Rosary and the Stations of the Cross became a revitalization for me who hadn't done most of these things in quite some time. I began to rethink the status of my faith and I realized I needed to be a bit more upfront and honest with myself.

Too long have I been stagnant waiting for God to drop answers from the sky; I know He has the answers, but I need to act if I truly wish to participate in His will. God's not a vending machine through which a certain number of prayers will get me the things I need, much less the things I want. I need to give myself to the One who gave Himself for me. That's how you get personal with God.

Digging Through the Dark and Dirty

"They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." --Revelation 7:14c

Today, I went down to St. Peter's in the Loop. Walking inside the church, I saw one of the confessionals with the light on--indicating the presence of a priest--and went inside.

The Sacrament of Penance may seem intimidating to many. For some, it can be very uncomfortable revealing certain life aspects that seem best kept to oneself. "What if the priest chews me out for doing this?" and "I can't be telling anyone about that" are a couple of the thoughts I've had pertaining to confession during my initial years of my formation as a Catholic--and sometimes, I admit, still have occasionally. Confession, to many, puts one on the hot seat.

Coming out of the confessional today had my thoughts racing about my faith formation. I had doubts about the genuineness of my personal prayer time, and wondered whether or not I was truly having a relationship with God through this. I felt I was reverting back to that phase in my life where I thought saying certain words in a set sequence would fulfill that relationship. Everything felt cold and isolated. I kept bringing this up with many priests as I opened up in the confessional for several years.

It was after today's confession that I realized the answer had been in front of me the whole time. The Sacrament of Penance in itself is a prayer, a communication with the divine. It was a way to open up about my personal life and the struggles that came along. It was personal as I admitted my sin through my own words as I dug deep into the darkest chambers of my heart. With these chambers exposed, the priest, an instrument of God's peace, reminded me of the Father's loving mercy which no sin can surpass. What was exposed was not merely a dirty soul, but an open path to renewal.

I have realized that this Sacrament has been my most personal means of prayer, and I hope to continue to utilize it in my formation and discernment. Catholics, do not fear the confessional; it is there to heal, not to punish. Take it as an opportunity to get personal with Christ, who forgave even those who crucified Him. The churches are not simply museums of saints come and gone, but hospitals for sinners (or saints in the making, I should say.)