Happy (almost) 2018, readership! I hope your 2017 has been fruitful, and I pray that our blessings continue to multiply over the next year!
Post-AIT graduation; on the bus back to the barracks, and freedom (sort of)
2017 has been one heck of a ride. With the completion of BCT and AIT in January, I'm now drilling with my unit back home in Illinois. I got my first full-time job, and I'm currently taking classes for an online certificate which I'm paying for out of pocket. It's not much as of now, but I'm glad I have some sort of foundation established. With a regular source of income, I'm able to provide some degree of financial assistance to my family back home, and also support my parish at St. John the Baptist.
I'm looking forward to what I've planned so far for 2018. As I stated earlier, I just booked my flight to the Philippines to visit family in January. It's the shortest that I'll be staying there (only one week), but I'll be sure to make the most of it! On the way back, I have a 15-hour layover in Seoul, South Korea, so I'm definitely planning on catching up with a couple of battle buddies stationed there as well. Two birds with one stone. ;)
Jackson Square, New Orleans, Louisiana
Halfway through February, I'll be flying into Pittsburgh to visit the Byzantine Catholic Seminary of Sts. Cyril and Methodius. Having recently transferred into the Melkite Greek Catholic Church (see this old post for context), I've been wanting to go further in my vocational discernment by seeing what it's like for our current seminarians (please pray for them, by the way!). I haven't made any solid decisions, but I'm excited for this adventure in particular!
Chicago Open Air 2017
I haven't received any decisions on my current application for graduate school, but I'm hoping that I'll get an answer sometime by spring. With help from my old professors and a few others, I've applied for a master's program in teaching history at UIC. As the current owner of a bachelor's in history, I've wanted to advance my education so I can be qualified to teach high school history. In addition, should I be accepted, I hope to contact the ROTC program at UIC to knock out my commission as well.
Luke Skopwalker outside of the 330th Homestead! (Miss you, buddy!)
This is currently my agenda for next year, but things may or may not change up. There's always that one episode in between that could prove to be a sudden plot twist. But I'm not too intimidated by that; I could use a good surprise or two this year. I definitely feel like 2017 was the "let's get down to business" phase for me, and I pray that continues into 2018. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to give me a like on Facebook for blog updates! Have a blessed new year!
Good evening readership! A thousand apologies for the holdup since last month. Unfortunately, work and school took over for the second half of 2017, and I couldn't update any content on this blog, subsequently.
I owe y'all another big update. I've recently finished my first online semester with George Mason University, and that frees up time to write more in spite of what little time I have left until 2018 starts (along with the next class I have to take in the spring semester). In addition, I've successfully uploaded my application for graduate school; please keep me in your prayers for that.
I've got a ton of new adventures coming up next year, by the way...
On the last week of January, I'll be going on a trip to the Philippines to visit family. It'll be the shortest time I'll be spending in my island home due to work, but I'll be sure to make the most of it! As an added bonus, my penny-pinching self decided to take the cheapest flight home, resulting in the 15-hour, home-bound layover in Seoul; that might make for an interesting blog post.
Currently in development is a trip to Pittsburgh. I'll be visiting the Byzantine Catholic Seminary there for a personal tour/retreat there. More to follow...
Short as it is, that's all I've been up to so far. I'll be rolling out more writing sooner than you think! See ya!
As I sit here awaiting Game 3 of the 2017 World Series, I reflect on a remarkably productive week. I decided to arrange my agenda into a schedule for once (I know, I was ridiculously disorganized up until this point. I'm surprised I've made it so far in that state). It's amazing to see how one little change could relieve so much stress over daily errands!
I'm more or less caught up on my online classes and I'm anxious to get this semester over with. At the same time, I'm doing some finishing touches on my graduate school application and I hopefully will get that in by early November. I'm excited to begin a new chapter at my old university.
I'm starting to get the hang of adulting a bit. I'm slowly but surely learning to handle my own resources and prioritize my errands. I'm actually becoming less worried about the money in my pocket, and I pray I never let that become my idol. Quick shoutout to my parents for helping me on the way for the past couple decades!
I had a blast going to a couple of Halloween parties this week. I decided to use an old costume idea from a few years ago:
They said I could be anything, so I became an internet meme...
This morning, I went to Confession for spiritual refreshment. In addition, I called up the vocations director for the Melkite Eparchy of Newton, Father John Azar. More to come in later posts...
In summa, I loved this week. There wasn't anything significantly bad about it, and I feel much better than with previous recent weeks. It's a bunch of little things, but it's a bunch that made a positive impact. It's the little blessings that God rains upon us each and every single day.
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:34
I woke up this morning and checked my news feed. First item I see is a post about a mass shooting at a Jason Aldean concert at Las Vegas. At work, I watch news coverage about this tragedy; it pained my heart seeing the footage of gunfire erupting onto the crowds. With more than fifty dead and hundreds more wounded, today has shaken me to the core.
I mourn those lost, and I extend my sympathy and prayers to their loved ones. To save a portion of your life to be with those you love only to witness them being taken away is senseless and outrageous. It is absolutely unfair for that joy to be taken away.
As I sit in my room writing in silence, I reflect on the movement of the souls present on that day. Joyful souls celebrating with those they loved. A disturbed soul moved to inflict death and sorrow. The joyful souls turning to fear and anxiety when the pain is wrought. And brave souls pouring in to protect the helpless.
In the midst of sorrow and rage in the aftermath of the attack, I stress that we do not forget the love pouring in that night. I want to extend thanks to the first responders who came in to provide safety and security for the victims; these are people to look to as inspiration. In spite of the darkness covering that event, there were people who came to serve as beacons of love showering hope upon everyone. From first responders to those calling in and praying to ensure their loved ones' safety, many acts of love were committed that day in response to the gunman's singular act of hatred.
I'm not writing to debate gun control or any issue related to this. I reflect on the trial of human suffering; in spite of the worst that can be brought out of humanity, it can never truly quench the good that can come out of those willing to sacrifice for others. In the midst of tragedy and suffering exemplified by the recent hurricanes and last night's attack, never lose your focus on the good, little as it may seem.
"I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. I will let fall a shower of roses." --St. Therese of Lisieux
I found it fitting to use this quote from St. Therese, as her feast day was just yesterday. In her short life, she committed numerous little acts of love that nonetheless impacted her family, her congregation, and ultimately, the Church. Her "Little Way" serves as a model for those who might think their little good cannot overcome the evils in this world. As long as there is commitment to Love, hatred and evil cannot conquer us. In the midst of evil, let fall your roses.
I was driving back home, with my phone hooked via AUX cord, and this song started playing:
I haven't delved deep enough into Linkin Park's music enough to consider myself a fan, but, in light of Chester Bennington's passing (as late as this post may be), I wanted to share how this particular song brought closure to one of the darkest chapters in my life.
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
A year prior to the release of Linkin Park's A Thousand Suns (the album in which this song is found), I was facing multiple struggles in my first semester of high school. I couldn't maintain consistency in my studies, and I was struggling to make passing grades in a couple of my classes. To make matters worse, I let myself become the victim of bullying and harassment; I was making an idiotic spectacle of myself in front of my peers, no matter how many times I tried to stand up for myself. It was only the first semester of my freshman year, and I was already being caught up in the storm of high school drama.
What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
The breaking point came towards the end of that semester. I had been chatting with a classmate on Facebook regarding one of the students who had been bullying me, but misunderstandings led to argument, and it escalated to the point where I, in a fit of uncontrolled rage, sent online threats to peers who I suspected of sympathizing with the bullies. At that point, I felt like the world was falling apart and collapsing on me, and that decision threw me into confusion and self-doubt. I regretted my decision and deleted the filth I had posted up, but the deed had been done.
Soon after, the incident had been reported to the school, and I was subsequently withdrawn from the student roll, a de facto expulsion. The story spread to the other schools in the area; I had to move to a new district, as my family feared backlash from students who heard about this. In addition, I had to be placed in psych rehab for about a month before I was considered fit to go back to school.
I was completely shattered by what I had done, mentally and spiritually. I quietly contemplated suicide while I languished in a sea of regret and helplessness. I didn't see any reason to keep going in life; I felt forever marked by this sin I had committed.
So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again
Thank God for a wonderful family I was born into. My parents, in spite of the gravity of the situation, never gave up on me. They worked their butts off finding a new school for me and constantly kept me in their prayers, taking me to see Jesus Himself in the Adoration chapel at St. Catherine's in Glenview. Whatever friends I had left after the incident encouraged me to move on, maintaining my resolve to reform and strengthen myself.
Of all the regret and despair that had flooded my mind during my freshman year, I still had some residue of in spite of successfully finding a new environment to thrive in. "What if it happens again next year? What would I do then?" I still had more questions even after that issue had been resolved (on the surface, at least).
It was then that I stumbled onto this song while I was watching a couple of music videos on TV. The message from Waiting For The End struck deep into my heart. I wasn't alone in struggles such as what I went through. There is hope even in the deepest pitfalls of life. Life in general will be hard and trying, but you can push through, with the added bonus of a support group.
It's been almost eight years since that life event, and I still feel the effects, though in a different light. Though I had been broken down to the core, I found an opportunity to grow and learn from my mistakes. I have a more positive outlook on life; I carry my crosses, but I know it doesn't end on Calvary. Am I still struggling? Of course I am, and life will drag on with such, but at least I know I'm not alone and that I can always reach out for even the tiniest spark of hope.
For those of you who may be struggling right now, I hope this little piece of mine helps, shoddy as it is. If you or someone you know may be contemplating taking your own life, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255; that one call could turn the tide of your life.
To conclude this post: Thank you, Chester. Your music saved this life and countless others; may your work continue to impact lives around the world.
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Could not have ended July any better. I've talked about CFC-FFL in a prior post, and I'm going to be a bit more direct in describing my wonderful adventures with them.
After finishing up another day of work on Friday, I took the train straight to O'Hare Airport. After a brief layover in Minnesota, I finally landed in Sacramento, California, albeit a bit late to the venue. At that point, I missed the first day, but I was lucky enough to be in contact with my friends who had already arrived from Chicago.
I woke up Saturday morning to commence my conference adventures. The conference was held at California State University at Sacramento (also known as Sac State), and it was an appropriate venue, as it was the conference for both the college and young adults' ministries of CFC-FFL this year. I got tapped to be an extraordinary Eucharist minister (which in Catholicism, is a lay person authorized to help the priest distribute communion during Mass); it was my first time being an EM with the hosts, and I naturally felt nervous, as I found myself handling the Body of Christ Himself. Mass went great that morning, though, and we began to attend the workshops that were set up for the day.
I signed up for four workshops. The first one I attended was about mission work. Now, I've done a couple of service trips prior to this, but this workshop reminded me about true commitment to a mission. A real mission isn't just a commitment of two weeks to help out in an impoverished area; it is to introduce love and hope into impoverished hearts and make a permanent impact that encourages growth, both physical and spiritual.
The second one I signed up for was about Mary, the Mother of God. This had a particular focus on Mary's veneration in the centuries following the foundation of the Church. Mary's various depictions and devotions throughout the world signify the universality of the Church's mission on earth. No nation or culture is excluded from the outreach of the Body of Christ. The singular yes of a young Jewish woman from Roman Palestine is a model for all Christians in their daily calls to holiness and discipleship.
Next came the workshop on vocational discernment. Hearing the stories from the panel (a married couple, a consecrated single, and a recently engaged Tom Park), I learned the dynamics of discernment. One does not simply pray to God and remain stagnant in the hopes that God will drop an answer in front of you; no, one must be on the move, following the path God has laid out for them, allowing for growth and the eventual realization of God's calling.
Snapshot from the Catholic Citizen workshop!
Finally, I attended the workshop on Catholic citizenship. With regard to political participation as a Catholic, it wasn't about how to vote or who to vote for, but rather how to maintain the integrity of your faith in the midst of today's issues. In light of the recent election, it broke my heart to hear about Catholics being shamed by their own brothers and sisters just because of who they voted for, and it was a relief to hear again that the Church does not look left or right, but up.
We had a powerful closing worship to end day two. We then came over to the Newman Center at Sac State for a rather lit afterparty. Now, I'm generally not one of those guys that immediately starts going into the dance floor and busting moves (I'm more of that guy in the back crossing his arms and bobbing his head thinking he's a cool cat), but I had a fun time chilling with my brothers and sisters from across the nation.
Sunday came, and we had our concluding Mass, worship, and speaker. The time came for the announcement of next year's conference. Turns out that SFL and CBFL will be having separate conference in New York and Houston, respectively. No biggie, I can come to both. Anyways, this conference ended up becoming my highlight for this month, and I am excited to start getting involved with SFL and CBFL again.
My postings have become a bit more sparse due to work and other obligations, but it doesn't mean I'll be abandoning this little blog of mine any time soon. The past month has been a roller-coaster, and I'll try to cover as much as possible while not overwhelming the reader's head.
It's been well over a month since I got my first job. My co-workers have been very welcoming to me and have been more than willing to answer my questions and get me trained on a variety of things. I've been able to pay for my family's expenses a bit, so I feel like I'm actually doing something to alleviate our overall financial situation. Plus, I'll have a bit of money for school. :D
I went to a few parties with some old college friends recently. Many of these friends have already graduated and are moving on to the next stages of wherever their lives take them. I hope against hope that I'll maintain some form of communication with them. I value these people tremendously for the impact they've had on me during my undergrad years, and I'm a bit stubborn to let these people fade into the chapters of the past.
Sparklers at an equally energetic graduation bash. Thanks for having us along, Kasia!
I got to spend this past weekend with some rather awesome colleagues at my unit. We had a dining out on Saturday evening (during which yours truly was part of the honor guard), followed by a PT test the morning after. I surprisingly set a new record on my PT test, which gave me a self-esteem boost and a new goal--beat that record.
Aside from other hangouts, I still have quite a lot of stuff to do for the rest of the summer. I've never felt so busy before during a summer, and it's a new, post-undergrad lifestyle I'll need to get adjusted to. Things are moving generally smoothly, but at the same time, I'm excited to see what the rest of 2017 has to offer me.
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My name is Mark, and I am no longer a Roman Catholic. You may or may not have heard that right.
As of this point in my life, I have left the rites and traditions of this Church, and I am no longer bound to them. All that I was obligated to observe as a Roman Catholic will no longer be considered my tradition. Ash Wednesday? Not something I am encouraged to do now. Divine Mercy Sunday? Not on my calendar either. Easter Sunday? Don't call it Easter anymore.
I've moved on from a defining chapter in my life, and there's no turning back now. I know, it's shocking. But I never said I was straight up leaving the faith, you know.
PLOT TWIST: I'm still Catholic, though not as many would assume.
Today, with the approval of both Cardinal Blase Cupich and Bishop Nicholas Samra, I have transferred from the Latin Catholic Church to the Melkite Greek Catholic Church.
It is true that I am no longer bound to the Latin Church, but who said the Catholic Church was simply that one church? It's much bigger than that.
Truth is, I have discovered that Catholicism is more than just Rome. It is not a single tradition, but rather a family of various Rites and traditions from across the globe. While Latin Catholics commence the Lenten fast on Ash Wednesday, other Catholics have already begun their third day or even third week of Great Lent. While the Latins bury the Alleluia for the duration of Lent, others still proclaim the joyful cry of the Resurrection before the Gospel. The Latins have their Masses, other Catholics have Qurbono on Sunday, yet others have a Divine Liturgy to celebrate.
Truth is, I never the Church altogether. I found more family members, and they have lovingly taken me in as one of their own. I still appreciate my heritage from my Latin Catholic upbringing, and it is that, combined with my new home, that I find what is truly means to be a Catholic.
My name is Mark, and I am now a Melkite Catholic. Yep, you heard that right. Or you may have never heard of that Rite.
Happy summer, readers! There's been so much going on in the weeks since my last post, so I hope to have you caught up on my recent experiences.
(Good news, yours truly finally has a job! Looks like I'll be resuming my commuting adventures and hopefully finding some interesting things to post about on the way.)
Anyways, I'd like to bring up a recent undertaking I've started. Sometime during Christmas 2015, I spent my vacation with my family in the Philippines. I always love to visit them, but my limited knowledge of Tagalog was a bit of a personal embarrassment. I already have a strong bond with my family back there, but I always felt I needed that bond to be stronger.
During a shopping trip with my family, I stepped into a bookstore. Lo, and behold...
FINALLY.
With generally little hesitation, I bought the book and took it back home to Chicago. I'm 22 years old now. I might be a bit of a late bloomer, but I'm more than willing to put in the work. I've already finished the first chapter, and I'm happy with the progress I've made, little as it is. It'd be great if I found someone else to practice and learn with, though I'm quite not confident as to who to go to.
It's about time I did this. Who knows, I might end up doing an entire post in Tagalog. Tayo na!
The day I joined CFC-YFL (Couples for Christ Youth for Family and Life) was a life-changing chapter. After a period of lapsed faith and your general high school drama, I pulled myself back together with a new mindset. Together with a new family, I chose to dedicate my life in service to Christ and His Church.
YFL Spring 2010 Camp
Seven years have passed since I attended my first YFL youth camp, and since then I've collected a treasure trove of memories with my brothers and sisters from the whole CFC-FFL community. Bonds were made through joy, sorrow, and the overall journey of the human experience. This relationship with the community has helped me affirm my faith and my relationship with God and I do not regret the path they have guided me to.
In the years following that first youth camp, I found myself called to share my faith experience as I participated in future camps as part of the retreat team. Through this service, I found myself exposed to various questions regarding, but not limited to, who I was, why I came to the community, and why I stayed. My fellow team members helped me build up a better understanding of what and why I believe as a Catholic.
A few years later, I received a call through which I was asked to become a camp leader. The task seemed overwhelming and part of me wanted to run away from this responsibility. However, I confronted this initial self-doubt: "Why should you run away? Is this not an opportunity for you to grow even further in your faith?" Upon accepting that call, I, along with a wonderful group of brothers and sisters, began preparations for that weekend. The weeks leading up to the retreat were difficult, but it was great knowing we were bearing the burden together as a family. In spite of the numerous ups and downs of preparation, we never gave up on the goal. On retreat weekend, everyone did an amazing job guiding the new retreat members and we lovingly accepted them into our family.
YFL Spring 2014 Camp
Looking back at that weekend, I've realized I've grown even further as a result of that service. My mindset compared to how I saw things back then have become more focused on bringing God to others, as long as I keep myself accountable for my own formation.
That same year, I moved on to the young adults ministry of CFC-FFL, Singles for Family and Life (SFL), where I continued my faith formation during my college years. However, recent events have caused me to lapse from SFL event attendance, and sadly, I have not been in much contact with my brothers and sisters as I had before. I've been hungry for some spiritual nourishment a long time, and since my graduation from AIT, I've been wanting to catch up with my friends from the community. Hopefully, I can go to another household meeting and resume what I started at day one with YFL.
Ever since I was given a PlayStation as a Christmas gift, gaming has been a definitive part of my life. It was gaming that introduced me to the ideas of hard work, achievement, and the adventures in between. Although I'm a 22 year old fresh out of college, I like to set aside some time away from the real world to let off a little steam.
One of the first games I was introduced to was RuneScape, which I started playing around the fall of 2005; I remember the day when I saw a few kids playing it at my neighborhood library and curiously asked what they were playing. I created an account and almost immediately fell in love with it. I learned that some of my friends at school had started playing it as well, and I used the game to occasionally chat with them. Today, I still occasionally log on to the game, though I'm balancing it out with more important things to do in the real world.
Recently, Jagex, the company behind RuneScape, released a documentary marking fifteen years since the game's release. You can watch it here. It's amazing to see how far something can go starting with so little. RuneScape's development from a simple MUD (multi-user dungeon) produced in a kitchen office to one of the most prominent MMOs in the world serves as a model for many who seek to make a big impact; persisting and believing in one's passions is what cultivates those passions to grow and become something larger, something that reaches out to people and solidifies itself as something to be remembered.
I know I'm sounding like a total nerd (or materialist) using a game like RuneScape as an example of "started from the bottom, now we're here," but I believe stories like this are what enable many to use what little they have to make something big. It doesn't even have to start with anything material; it could simply be an idea or concept that one cultivates and shapes over time and is shared to the point where it becomes larger than its original form. Even if it impacts only one person, there is at least one shift in conditions that will be ingrained for some time.
I'll again leave this post with some questions to reflect on. What are your passions? What crazy ideas or dreams do you have for them? What could be the potential impact of these dreams on the world around you? On yourself?
Christ is Risen! Alleluia! Familiar words for faithful Christians after a laborious observance of Lent. Through forty days of prayer, fasting, and alms-giving, and then the culmination of the Triduum, we arrive once more at the joyous holy day of Pascha/Easter!
This Lent was very challenging for me this year. I faced several difficulties and temptations which often threw me off my intended path. I often forgot that we were in Lent and I found myself falling into old habits which I believed to have discarded long ago. My prayer time became a roller-coaster of talking to God vs. mumbling a few Jesus Prayers without really paying attention to my own words. I became doubtful and questioned my commitment not only to this year's Lent, but to my faith in general.
But this questioning and doubt was in itself a wake-up call for me, a sort of subconscious Lenten sacrifice. I may have had numerous failings during the season, but I'm very glad to have noticed the issues. It is this self-assessment which assisted me as I explained my Lenten situation to the priests in the confessionals and allowed me to better shape my outlook on where God was leading me. I felt affirmed by the various friends I turned to for guidance and accountability. Visiting Christ Himself in the Eucharist bathed me in a sea of assurance and hope that my questions and doubts would be answered at the proper time.
It was in this Holy Week that I saw everything fall into place; I witnessed it in a way larger than I had expected. There was a warmth in my soul that I had not felt since I left for basic training in August, and there was also a greater pull--an acceleration in movement towards where God was leading me. I think I know where to go further at this point, though, of course, there is quite some uncharted territory left to go. Something to pray for more ardently as the years come and go.
It's key that we check ourselves once in a while. Perhaps there may be something we may have overlooked in the questions we ask ourselves daily. Not only can we find a potential answer, but also potential new questions to help better understand where God is leading us. As questions and answers come and go, we discover hidden treasures within ourselves which God has laid out.
What roads and treasures do you think God has laid out for you?
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." --Jeremiah 1:5a
About eight weeks ago, I mailed a tube of my spit to the folks at Ancestry.com. After a slight delay due to increased demand for the DNA kits during St. Patrick's Day, I finally managed to get my results. And now, here is what I got. *drumroll*
Generally expected of someone of my stock, though deep down inside, I wished there could have been a surprise ethnicity in the mix. Regardless, I'm very happy to have taken a closer look at my roots, and I may or may not get my parents to try it themselves. Perhaps I could find out more from that, but that's for another time.
Click here to order an Ancestry kit for yourself. It's very much worth the wait!
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Not too long ago, I found an advertisement on Facebook for a web series entitled "City of Saints". I was interested and signed up to receive updates on new episodes. Yesterday, I received an email informing me of the new episode, which you can view yourself in the link provided.
After having viewed this, I was exceptionally touched by Alex's conversion story. I, along with many others, can relate to the struggles, both external and internal, that he had faced in life. Many times, I often felt that I had no one to turn to for guidance, no matter where I looked.
It took various personal struggles in high school and college for me to realize that God the Father is always watching over me, even when I feel like He's not there. Every fall I have experienced has led to a greater rise; and it will only become greater in the years to come, in spite of the trials yet to come, as long as I keep my desires fixed on Christ, the Summit of my life.
Faith has always been important. With the recent troubles going on in our communities, we need to keep our focus on hope and strive to repair and build up those who cannot sustain themselves. We all have a calling to change at least one person's life and potentially start a chain reaction of change; question is, are we going to answer it?
I highly recommend that you sign up to subscribe to the City of Saints series. There are more inspirational stories to come! Also, please like my Facebook page and follow me on Instagram for blog updates! Thanks for stopping by!
It was a weird feeling when I got out of college. I transitioned into basic training and AIT, and when I got out of that and came back to Chicago, it felt even weirder. In the years leading up to this, I've had relatively smooth transitions between education levels from grade school onwards, easily anticipating what I was going to go through next.
Not this time. Although I've already applied for an online graduate program and am currently anticipating a transition to graduate school, I find myself in a rather awkward state. I flounder about, occasionally job hunting and squaring away a few tasks at home. I go back to my old school and socialize with my friends who are still riding the college struggle bus (though many of these will soon graduate this semester. Good luck, guys!). This floundering makes me feel like I don't quite know what I'm doing exactly in the now.
Sometimes, when I'm alone at home, the uncertainty gets a bit tense. The "I don't know" of the now becomes the "I don't know" of the years to come. Sure, there's a game plan for the future, but can such a plan be sustained with what I have now? There is so much to think about.
But I realize I'm getting rather impatient and, as a result, I see myself jumping the gun. I realize that I'm only just beginning to get a bigger taste of the world beyond the bachelor's degree. I need to get a feel for my surroundings and know them before I tackle the goals head on. It takes time for a hot meal to fully cook, and eating it now will leave a bad taste in your mouth and will probably also send you to the hospital.
After a few months of hesitation, I finally decided to make a Facebook page for the blog. Facebook friends, now you won't have to feel awkward stalking my personal profile for posts you may have missed out on.
(Also, I wanted to get a feel for posting on the new page rather than on my profile by writing this.)
Feel free to invite your friends to give the page a like!
Life can get pretty hectic, even when you think you're in a break period.
Today, I went on a men's retreat at St. John Cantius in Chicago (aka America's Most Beautiful Church). Figured I needed to reflect a little more on where I've gone in life and to discern a little more where God wanted to take me.
There was a lot of material given during the retreat talks relating to faith and theology, but what really struck me was the prayer involved. Undergoing the Sacrament of Penance, attending Holy Mass, and praying the Rosary and the Stations of the Cross became a revitalization for me who hadn't done most of these things in quite some time. I began to rethink the status of my faith and I realized I needed to be a bit more upfront and honest with myself.
Too long have I been stagnant waiting for God to drop answers from the sky; I know He has the answers, but I need to act if I truly wish to participate in His will. God's not a vending machine through which a certain number of prayers will get me the things I need, much less the things I want. I need to give myself to the One who gave Himself for me. That's how you get personal with God.
I've been chilling in my room for the few months following my return from Fort Jackson. I look around and see the numerous unused envelopes and stamps from basic training. And an idea pops into my head...
When I had my phone taken for the duration of basic, I was left with the option of communicating via traditional mail, for which I had to pay in order to get the needed materials to send a simple letter back home to my family and friends. It felt very weird at first--not having done this in well over a decade--but I soon got the hang of handwriting letters and addresses again.
In comparison to the texts I casually sent over my phone and my laptop, these messages felt more personal; instead of the relaxed convenience of typing on a touchscreen, I felt the strain on my wrist as I wrote and scribbled my messages. I felt the effort put into this communication; for the first time, I felt I was actually caring for my loved ones by making these mailings. Of course, I did feel something similar with digital messages, but in my case, the effort and the care felt real when I wrote my heart out.
When I was given my phone--and with it, the ability to text again--I felt different about the way I communicated after ten weeks of snail mail. Texting never felt as personal as writing a letter. Typing and leaving it for someone to eventually pick up their phone and see it didn't have the ring of, "I put in some of my resources just to speak my heart to you." I wanted to do more with the old styles, strange as it sounded.
And that feeling still echoes with me to this day. I want to experience the effort of caring and setting aside my resources for someone I love. I want that intimate feeling of true communication again. I want to pour my whole heart into creating a message that matters.
I have set a challenge for myself and for you readers as well if you wish to join in:
I'm going to start mailing people again. If you'd like, message me your mailing address (it will be kept confidential, of course), and I'll get to writing you a simple, but hopefully heartfelt letter. No matter where you are, I'll send you a message. For me, this is a personal exercise for my communications and relationships with others, and I encourage you to give it a try. It heavily affected my relationships with my loved ones during and after basic, and I'm happy with the changes. Happy writing!
It's been well over a month since my last post, but I've finally gotten around to writing again after adjusting to a new schedule. Hopefully, I'll be writing more often from this point onward. Anyways, I just came back from a brief, but amazing trip at New Orleans, Louisiana. That's another state to knock off the list!
My family and I boarded a coach bus bound for NOLA on March 1. Unfortunately, our trip got stalled in the first hour, as our bus broke down and we had to wait a good three hours on the shoulder until another bus came along to pick up everyone and load up all of our luggage.
The rest of the trip went smoothly. We arrived at our hotel and got settled in our rooms. The main reason why my family was there in the first place was that there was a business conference in the convention center not too far from our hotel. In reality, there were many things in New Orleans that caught my eye as I started exploring this fascinating city.
St. Louis Cathedral
Our first stop was the French Quarter, an area rich with culture and historical architecture. A statue of Andrew Jackson on horseback stands in the middle of the square which bears his name. Just behind that statue is the Cathedral of St. Louis, the episcopal seat of the Archdiocese of New Orleans (Bonus fact: One of the Archdiocese of Chicago's former archbishops, Cardinal Cody, was archbishop of New Orleans.) I had the opportunity of going to Mass when I came in, and I was absolutely awestruck by both the exterior and the interior of this cathedral.
We continued to explore the city a bit more before stopping for lunch at a Bubba Gump's, where we were treated to some nice Southern-style cooking and, of course, Forrest Gump trivia. After spending the evening exploring the French Quarter--and seeing some things I probably should not be describing in this post (or this blog in general)--we got back to our hotel and rested a bit.
A couple of days later, I decided to go out on my own to see the National World War II Museum, which was about a six minute walk from the hotel.
Best. Museum. Ever.
What I found was a treasury of historical artifacts, ranging from uniforms and equipment to first hand accounts of the war from all sides. Having grown up watching military documentaries and also having had a great-uncle who fought in the Pacific Theater, this place was breathtaking. I went through basically all of the attractions offered, including, but not limited to, a 4D presentation on the war narrated by Tom Hanks and a submarine simulator reenacting the sinking of the USS Tang. If anything, I'd love to go back there next time.
Overall, this short trip had a lot to offer. I think I just found my new favorite U.S. city outside of Chicago. Perhaps I could move there. Who knows?
Having completed all training requirements, I am now qualified
for my job in the Army! I should be set to come home this week and I'm
aching to catch up upon arrival!
I'd like to shine the
spotlight on my battle buddies. I have mentioned them in previous posts,
but I very much stress their impact on me. Together, we have gone
through quite the times. We've shared laughs, tears, and motivation all
through these eight weeks of AIT. From struggling to stay awake in class
to bowling at Ivy Lanes to rushing to recall formation back on post, I
feel more built up as a person with the times I spent with them.
Now
the time has come to go our separate ways. Some of us will be stationed
away from our homes--even overseas--while others will be returning to
serve our local communities. Each and every one of us has a unique story
and lifepath, and all of these streams flowed into a beautiful
experience during our time here. Now the time has come for these rivers
to separate and go where they are directed.
Perhaps I will run
into them again (Actually, that might happen with certain people this
year. You know who you are.). Regardless of whether or not that happens,
I pray that all of them find success and blessings throughout their
lives, and I state again that I am proud to begin my service alongside
them all.
A new generation of soldiers is about to emerge this week. Congratulations to all who made it!
