Falling Roses

I woke up this morning and checked my news feed. First item I see is a post about a mass shooting at a Jason Aldean concert at Las Vegas. At work, I watch news coverage about this tragedy; it pained my heart seeing the footage of gunfire erupting onto the crowds. With more than fifty dead and hundreds more wounded, today has shaken me to the core.

I mourn those lost, and I extend my sympathy and prayers to their loved ones. To save a portion of your life to be with those you love only to witness them being taken away is senseless and outrageous. It is absolutely unfair for that joy to be taken away.

As I sit in my room writing in silence, I reflect on the movement of the souls present on that day. Joyful souls celebrating with those they loved. A disturbed soul moved to inflict death and sorrow. The joyful souls turning to fear and anxiety when the pain is wrought. And brave souls pouring in to protect the helpless.

In the midst of sorrow and rage in the aftermath of the attack, I stress that we do not forget the love pouring in that night. I want to extend thanks to the first responders who came in to provide safety and security for the victims; these are people to look to as inspiration. In spite of the darkness covering that event, there were people who came to serve as beacons of love showering hope upon everyone. From first responders to those calling in and praying to ensure their loved ones' safety, many acts of love were committed that day in response to the gunman's singular act of hatred.

I'm not writing to debate gun control or any issue related to this. I reflect on the trial of human suffering; in spite of the worst that can be brought out of humanity, it can never truly quench the good that can come out of those willing to sacrifice for others. In the midst of tragedy and suffering exemplified by the recent hurricanes and last night's attack, never lose your focus on the good, little as it may seem.

"I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. I will let fall a shower of roses." --St. Therese of Lisieux

I found it fitting to use this quote from St. Therese, as her feast day was just yesterday. In her short life, she committed numerous little acts of love that nonetheless impacted her family, her congregation, and ultimately, the Church. Her "Little Way" serves as a model for those who might think their little good cannot overcome the evils in this world. As long as there is commitment to Love, hatred and evil cannot conquer us. In the midst of evil, let fall your roses.

Open Ears

I forgot to bring my headphones.

I sat uncomfortably throughout my ride on the CTA this morning. I did not have the usual comfort of listening to Gemini Syndrome on my commute, instead looking everywhere and generally avoiding eye contact with other people; I occasionally looked through my Facebook profile and emails on my phone, but even that couldn't alleviate the discomfort and social anxiety. I was used to closing off the outside world with my headphones and staying comfortable in the stagnancy of my "happy place".

But not this time. With my ears open, I was barraged with the bustle and boom of the world around me. Conversations about recent events. Parents introducing their children to the public transit system. Arguments on the phone. Homeless people asking for help.

Why now? Why should I listen to all of this? It pains my ears to hear the pain in this world. I want the noise to stop.

But that's probably why my ears were opened in the first place. One can ignore the pain, but it doesn't make it go away; it will still be there when you return to reality. You'll have to treat it directly if you wish to make your world a place worth living in.

Reality can hurt. It's what we do with the hurt that brings us out either at our best or our worst. We open our ears and listen to our surroundings. What is wrong? How can we fix it? What is right? How can we cultivate it? More questions may lie behind these initial ones, but they lead to more refined answers as we delve and explore our world and our lives.

I'm glad I didn't bring my headphones.

"Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear." --Mark 4:9b

A Spark of Conversion

Not too long ago, I found an advertisement on Facebook for a web series entitled "City of Saints". I was interested and signed up to receive updates on new episodes. Yesterday, I received an email informing me of the new episode, which you can view yourself in the link provided.

City of Saints Episode 1: The Good Thief

After having viewed this, I was exceptionally touched by Alex's conversion story. I, along with many others, can relate to the struggles, both external and internal, that he had faced in life. Many times, I often felt that I had no one to turn to for guidance, no matter where I looked.

It took various personal struggles in high school and college for me to realize that God the Father is always watching over me, even when I feel like He's not there. Every fall I have experienced has led to a greater rise; and it will only become greater in the years to come, in spite of the trials yet to come, as long as I keep my desires fixed on Christ, the Summit of my life.

Faith has always been important. With the recent troubles going on in our communities, we need to keep our focus on hope and strive to repair and build up those who cannot sustain themselves. We all have a calling to change at least one person's life and potentially start a chain reaction of change; question is, are we going to answer it?

I highly recommend that you sign up to subscribe to the City of Saints series. There are more inspirational stories to come! Also, please like my Facebook page and follow me on Instagram for blog updates! Thanks for stopping by!

Break from the Break

Life can get pretty hectic, even when you think you're in a break period.

Today, I went on a men's retreat at St. John Cantius in Chicago (aka America's Most Beautiful Church). Figured I needed to reflect a little more on where I've gone in life and to discern a little more where God wanted to take me.

There was a lot of material given during the retreat talks relating to faith and theology, but what really struck me was the prayer involved. Undergoing the Sacrament of Penance, attending Holy Mass, and praying the Rosary and the Stations of the Cross became a revitalization for me who hadn't done most of these things in quite some time. I began to rethink the status of my faith and I realized I needed to be a bit more upfront and honest with myself.

Too long have I been stagnant waiting for God to drop answers from the sky; I know He has the answers, but I need to act if I truly wish to participate in His will. God's not a vending machine through which a certain number of prayers will get me the things I need, much less the things I want. I need to give myself to the One who gave Himself for me. That's how you get personal with God.

Digging Through the Dark and Dirty

"They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." --Revelation 7:14c

Today, I went down to St. Peter's in the Loop. Walking inside the church, I saw one of the confessionals with the light on--indicating the presence of a priest--and went inside.

The Sacrament of Penance may seem intimidating to many. For some, it can be very uncomfortable revealing certain life aspects that seem best kept to oneself. "What if the priest chews me out for doing this?" and "I can't be telling anyone about that" are a couple of the thoughts I've had pertaining to confession during my initial years of my formation as a Catholic--and sometimes, I admit, still have occasionally. Confession, to many, puts one on the hot seat.

Coming out of the confessional today had my thoughts racing about my faith formation. I had doubts about the genuineness of my personal prayer time, and wondered whether or not I was truly having a relationship with God through this. I felt I was reverting back to that phase in my life where I thought saying certain words in a set sequence would fulfill that relationship. Everything felt cold and isolated. I kept bringing this up with many priests as I opened up in the confessional for several years.

It was after today's confession that I realized the answer had been in front of me the whole time. The Sacrament of Penance in itself is a prayer, a communication with the divine. It was a way to open up about my personal life and the struggles that came along. It was personal as I admitted my sin through my own words as I dug deep into the darkest chambers of my heart. With these chambers exposed, the priest, an instrument of God's peace, reminded me of the Father's loving mercy which no sin can surpass. What was exposed was not merely a dirty soul, but an open path to renewal.

I have realized that this Sacrament has been my most personal means of prayer, and I hope to continue to utilize it in my formation and discernment. Catholics, do not fear the confessional; it is there to heal, not to punish. Take it as an opportunity to get personal with Christ, who forgave even those who crucified Him. The churches are not simply museums of saints come and gone, but hospitals for sinners (or saints in the making, I should say.)