My Own Place, My Own Pace

Well, another semester begins. Having technically been a student at my university since 2013, it almost feels routine. The anxiety and the excitement that used to come with every year of undergrad is slowly withering away as I do my degree plan at my own pace.

Suddenly, I don't feel an urge to graduate "on time". There's really no one that I'm looking forward to graduating with (to all my friends and colleagues reading this, I mean no offense). I've walked the stage before, and it seems all good and done from that point onward. After getting my bachelor's degree, it's basically been a free-fall through my goals and career aspirations.

It's been a rough transition, though. In my humble, little free-fall, I crashed into several branches and other obstacles. I entered graduate school with my old undergrad mentality of finishing the degree within the societal expectation of two years. Unfortunately, my rush led to one of the worst burnouts I experienced in my academic life. I wound up seeing my old family psychiatrist for some input and advice.

It turned out that I let myself conform to the inhuman machinery of societal pressure:

Don't you dare slow down or fall out.

Finish within the track that's posted on the degree plan.

No one wants the stragglers.

When I let those voices get to my head, I unfortunately paid the price with regard to self-care and sleep. A lot raced through my head, way more than it should have been. By the end of the year, I was mentally unfit to continue on the rush track.

I have to personally give my utmost gratitude to my psychiatrist and friend for waking me up to the reality of my situation. Truth is, I have a unique story that shouldn't be confined to mere societal expectations of a graduate student's track. I run at my own pace, and I fall where I will. A graduation year is but a number, but self-care is priceless. Who cares if it takes me an additional year or two? I have my own story to write, and my chapters can be as long as I want them to be.

Human growth is not a race, and it shouldn't be. The only person you need to worry about surpassing is yourself. Be better than your yesterday, and the results will come at a natural time for you and no one else.

Cultivating Personal Vocabulary

A friend of mine invited me via text to an event called the Chicago Language Cafe. At a bar which wasn't too far of a drive from my place, there were several tables at which I could practice and brush up on the languages I learned in school. Needless to say, that was a very enjoyable refresher.

My first stop was the Arabic table, marked by an Egyptian flag (Luckily, it wasn't Egyptian dialect only; I would have been destroyed trying to pick up on that.). A couple of native speakers at that table helped me get settled and refreshed me on a lot of vocabulary and grammar which I hadn't utilized in about four years. I had once been actively fluent during my Arabic courses back at UIC, but I let myself go rusty once I finished the language requirements for my degree. However, once I took hold again of my basics, I was able to maintain a decent conversation for a hot minute.

As the conversation flowed, I became more expressive and my chemistry with the others became more dynamic. I got more comfortable and confident speaking as the native speakers coached me. After I came back home, I ended my day feeling affirmed and motivated to develop my language skills more at events like that.

I think there's deeper takeaways from this event than simple language refreshers. It taught me never to be afraid to seek additional coaching at something you're not confident in; there's no shame in asking questions. The best way to practice something is to actually do it, applying outside guidance as needed.

But the most profound lesson for me is that speaking to someone in their language helps them to get to know you better. And by language, I don't simply mean foreign languages; I include body language, personal background, environment, and culture. There are various ways in which people express and understand ideas, and the way that one expresses themselves might not be as easily understood by another. Sometimes, we need to step out of our shoes and affirm how the other experiences things. In the process, we add a little more words to our social vocabulary and our overall human experience matures; we become more flexible in our communication and thus more open to what other people have to say.

I'll close off this post with some questions to reflect on:

• What "languages" do you speak? In other words, what defines how you see things?
• How have you differed from others in experiencing similar things?
• What sorts of "social vocabulary" do you think you'd need to pick up to better understand who's around you?

Confessions of a Former Culture Warrior

Dusting off the cover of this rusty old blog, I feel like I have to get this out of my system.

In some of the recent altercations I've witnessed on social media, I have seen a significant increase of vitriolic exchanges between opposing political camps. There is a general environment of mistrust and close-mindedness that had led to an endless cycle of buzzwords and name-calling which leads conversations off the cliff.

Witnessing this in several circles, I can't help but slam my fists on my desk as I read through the clashes of discourse in the comments sections. No one seems to listen to anyone but their own kind. Stereotypes and political profiling are rampant and memed throughout the feeds. I don't know why anyone would settle within their own discourse and think that their own arguments are ends in themselves.

I, too, participated in a culture war against the "evil" liberal Other. I was brought up to believe that the liberal agenda was directly receiving orders from Satan himself and their discourse was not worth listening to. The stereotypical liberal for me was the anarchist, anti-theist, gay agenda "pusher" who would stop at nothing to destroy all that we live for. It became hard for me to be a listener, and I burned a lot of bridges and friendships for the sake of the crusade. Then college came, and I found myself surrounded by a menagerie of humanity. Different religions, ideologies, backgrounds, etc. My crusader upbringing kicked in, and the whole campus felt like I was in the midst of the enemy.

In listening to the different views and perspectives, however, I realized that I forgot to be human in my Christian upbringing. Sure, Jesus flipped tables and used insulting analogies to humble the religious leaders, but how does that ever give me license to belittle "lawbreakers" and "low-lifes"? Sounds like I've turned myself into a Pharisee. Did not Christ say He came to call sinners, and that those who are not sick do not need a doctor? How have I been treating those from harsh backgrounds and origins? They are afflicted, but they are human beings, products of the Creator with a dignity equal to my own.

I've thrown away the life of the culture warrior. I've learned to actually listen to know my "enemy" better. Wasn't Mother Church built on genuine human relationships, and were not those relationships built on genuine conversation? Did not the Apostles bring the Church into being at Pentecost when they preached to pilgrims in various languages? What happened to that?

Then again, I'm done ranting. It's just a rabble at this point, and no one is going to listen to this. Just another voice in the crowd with no sense of direction.

Passion and Productivity (CI 504 Project)

The following was a blog post made for my education course. Please enjoy. :)

I was on a bit of an anime binge recently, so here's a clip for personal entertainment. I've provided both the English and Japanese dubs to cater to your preferences:

ENGLISH

JAPANESE

I was born and raised on the Northwest Side of Chicago in a family of Filipino immigrants. Growing up, English and Tagalog were the predominant languages at home, but I never quite picked up the latter fluently. I attended a Catholic parish and school, St. William, which was only a few minutes’ walk from my house. The parish population was predominantly Mexican and Puerto Rican, so the Spanish language and Hispanic culture were heavily incorporated into Sunday services as well as the school curriculum.

At St. Will’s, I was part of a small class of 22 (some people transferred out and back in over time) which had a homeroom teacher who taught most of our subjects in the same classroom. We had a few other teachers which taught us music, computer basics, and physical education. It’s a very small school where it was very easy to put names to faces. That being said, my class was very collaborative in nature. Some of the Spanish speakers in our class would often group together and either work on assignments or chat. I recall one instance in which the teacher discouraged Spanish, but it still persisted until our graduation.

 

Our class had a lot of projects that were individualized; we had assignments with prompts, but we were able to use any topic or content that was available and interesting. An interesting text analysis activity I remember involved breaking down articles from either the Chicago Tribune or the Sun Times and breaking them down according to the five W’s (Who, What, When, Where, Why); subsequently, we would present these stories in front of the class. I also recall other projects such as a fiction book report and my first research paper. During these assignments, I chose texts which caught my attention and which I devoured with a passion.

I have a few takeaways from looking back at my grade school days. The usage of languages other than English did provide my Spanish-speaking friends a means to approach course content in a unique way; it’s an application of one’s own perspective and identity to make a genuine contribution to the classroom. It’s kind of like how anime fans state their preference on how they watch anime, whether it’s Japanese with English subtitles or just a straight-up English dub; some people take in the stories better in their own language, while other opt to take in the original voices.

By the way, here's an example of what I'm talking about:

 

People process things differently based on factors such as language, personal interests, and stuff that they care about in general. Content is effective when it bridges the student to the classroom; genuine interest breeds genuine contribution.

The questions I would like to discuss on this post:

• Can you recall any projects during which you genuinely pursued?
• Have you or someone you knew made contributions to a discussion which were noticeably unique in the classroom?