My Own Place, My Own Pace

Well, another semester begins. Having technically been a student at my university since 2013, it almost feels routine. The anxiety and the excitement that used to come with every year of undergrad is slowly withering away as I do my degree plan at my own pace.

Suddenly, I don't feel an urge to graduate "on time". There's really no one that I'm looking forward to graduating with (to all my friends and colleagues reading this, I mean no offense). I've walked the stage before, and it seems all good and done from that point onward. After getting my bachelor's degree, it's basically been a free-fall through my goals and career aspirations.

It's been a rough transition, though. In my humble, little free-fall, I crashed into several branches and other obstacles. I entered graduate school with my old undergrad mentality of finishing the degree within the societal expectation of two years. Unfortunately, my rush led to one of the worst burnouts I experienced in my academic life. I wound up seeing my old family psychiatrist for some input and advice.

It turned out that I let myself conform to the inhuman machinery of societal pressure:

Don't you dare slow down or fall out.

Finish within the track that's posted on the degree plan.

No one wants the stragglers.

When I let those voices get to my head, I unfortunately paid the price with regard to self-care and sleep. A lot raced through my head, way more than it should have been. By the end of the year, I was mentally unfit to continue on the rush track.

I have to personally give my utmost gratitude to my psychiatrist and friend for waking me up to the reality of my situation. Truth is, I have a unique story that shouldn't be confined to mere societal expectations of a graduate student's track. I run at my own pace, and I fall where I will. A graduation year is but a number, but self-care is priceless. Who cares if it takes me an additional year or two? I have my own story to write, and my chapters can be as long as I want them to be.

Human growth is not a race, and it shouldn't be. The only person you need to worry about surpassing is yourself. Be better than your yesterday, and the results will come at a natural time for you and no one else.

Cultivating Personal Vocabulary

A friend of mine invited me via text to an event called the Chicago Language Cafe. At a bar which wasn't too far of a drive from my place, there were several tables at which I could practice and brush up on the languages I learned in school. Needless to say, that was a very enjoyable refresher.

My first stop was the Arabic table, marked by an Egyptian flag (Luckily, it wasn't Egyptian dialect only; I would have been destroyed trying to pick up on that.). A couple of native speakers at that table helped me get settled and refreshed me on a lot of vocabulary and grammar which I hadn't utilized in about four years. I had once been actively fluent during my Arabic courses back at UIC, but I let myself go rusty once I finished the language requirements for my degree. However, once I took hold again of my basics, I was able to maintain a decent conversation for a hot minute.

As the conversation flowed, I became more expressive and my chemistry with the others became more dynamic. I got more comfortable and confident speaking as the native speakers coached me. After I came back home, I ended my day feeling affirmed and motivated to develop my language skills more at events like that.

I think there's deeper takeaways from this event than simple language refreshers. It taught me never to be afraid to seek additional coaching at something you're not confident in; there's no shame in asking questions. The best way to practice something is to actually do it, applying outside guidance as needed.

But the most profound lesson for me is that speaking to someone in their language helps them to get to know you better. And by language, I don't simply mean foreign languages; I include body language, personal background, environment, and culture. There are various ways in which people express and understand ideas, and the way that one expresses themselves might not be as easily understood by another. Sometimes, we need to step out of our shoes and affirm how the other experiences things. In the process, we add a little more words to our social vocabulary and our overall human experience matures; we become more flexible in our communication and thus more open to what other people have to say.

I'll close off this post with some questions to reflect on:

• What "languages" do you speak? In other words, what defines how you see things?
• How have you differed from others in experiencing similar things?
• What sorts of "social vocabulary" do you think you'd need to pick up to better understand who's around you?