Pandemics, Pain, and Perspectives

I admittedly have a lot of pent-up frustrations and concerns from the pain of the past couple of weeks. I'm bringing back this blog as my coping tool.

"I can't breathe" is a cry heard 'round the world. These national and international protests in the aftermath of George Floyd's murder have cast the eyes of the world on our nation. In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, this national movement for America's black communities has certainly made 2020 a turbulent year.

Living here in Chicago, it was almost inevitable that mass protests would be organized here. Not too long ago, Laquan Mcdonald was repeatedly shot to death by a police officer, and it caused citywide protests (including one I witnessed from afar at my own university). Again, protests from the Black Lives Matter movement have resurged in the Windy City, face-to-face with a police force that many of them seek to reform or abolish.

Reading up a bit on Chicago's history--I recommend A Political Education by Elizabeth Todd-Breland; it's an infuriating read that does leave some room for hope--I have become slightly more aware of the legacy of racial segregation in our own city. I've also been forced to check my own biases (even the inherent racial ones that I thought I managed to completely suppress), and learned to listen to other perspectives. Protesting isn't quite my lane, and I admittedly still profess some attachment to CPD officers (the ones that I know, at least), but the nationwide significance of the George Floyd protests has shaken a lot of my preconceived notions about American society.

But I'm not here to write on proposals to reform or abolish institutions. This here is an individual's thoughts, and these are not to be taken as an official endorsement of any side of this issue.

I'm exhausted from sharing resources and listening to people over DMs and phone calls. I'm human too, so I get fatigued and I need breaks. But my heart still aches for our nation, our city, and any remnants of humanity that are left amidst the brutality and the rioting. I want to keep being optimistic and friendly, even as I acknowledge the ugliness of this issue, but I fear my optimism will be shot down as toxic positivity.

I may not see the end of this issue. In fact, many of us may not see it end completely. But, what I think does matter is our faithfulness to nourish and sustain humanity for the next generation. We might not resolve all the issues, but at least we can make this world better for our children to manage and continue the work.

Do I have disagreements with friends? Of course I do. But I won't let such disagreements dehumanize the people I love; in the end, we grow and learn from each other, and we pass on the lessons. Does it hurt? Of course it does. But it guarantees a stronger platform for us and the next generations to thrive.

We are all carrying a heavy cross up the hill, but the cross is not the final reality. There is a moment of resurrection and renewal, and the cycle begins again. It does seem repetitive, but I think this cycle continuously allows us to maintain a mature outlook on the harshness of the world. This dynamic of positive and negative, I believe, is what gives us the opportunity to express the selfless aspects of humanity.

I might write more on this, but I'll conclude my thoughts here. Thanks for stopping by.

Pursuit of a Dream, Pursuit of a Vocation

I drove home to the sight of emergency lights just down the street from my house this evening. There’s something about sights like this that often make me reflect on the state of the community around me. Of course, living in a city like Chicago, stuff like this is more or less commonplace.

I wonder what sort of situation happened there and who was involved in cases like this. At the same time, I think about what sort of conditions led to this moment. Being the over-analyst that I am sometimes, I can’t help but feel an urge to figure out and do something to better such conditions.

I guess it’s that inner urge to “make a difference”—as corny as it sounds nowadays—that drove me to pursue studies in education. I’d hope it would be the little I could at least contribute to the mess around me. Even as I majored in regular history for my undergraduate studies, I wondered what impact I could make with whatever career I pursued. At this point, I was aware of struggles that some of my fellow students were going through as well as other incidents back home in my neighborhood.

A friend and I helped repaint one of the buildings at a Catholic parish in Jamaica. Back when I had a flowing mane.

I was fortunate to have a lot of opportunities to serve those in need during my undergraduate years at UIC. At the St. John Paul II Newman Center--as it is called right now ;)--I volunteered for a few mission trips to places such as Jamaica and Appalachia, and I participated in a few service projects back home in the city. I thoroughly enjoyed these moments and the people I served, but after finishing my service trips, I longed to do more. I wanted to do service that was long-term, not just a day or two weeks. I now wanted to develop myself more in service and pursue a career in which I could help others and build up my community.

Today, I'm getting ready to begin my master's program this fall. I have committed to getting my degree and teacher's license, knowing that I will be preparing myself to serve today's generation of youth and giving them what they need to take on life and the world ahead of them. I now feel like I've discovered at least part of my vocation, and I'm both nervous and excited to see what God will have in store for me next.

At Least One More Before 2017 Ends!

Good evening readership! A thousand apologies for the holdup since last month. Unfortunately, work and school took over for the second half of 2017, and I couldn't update any content on this blog, subsequently.

I owe y'all another big update. I've recently finished my first online semester with George Mason University, and that frees up time to write more in spite of what little time I have left until 2018 starts (along with the next class I have to take in the spring semester). In addition, I've successfully uploaded my application for graduate school; please keep me in your prayers for that.

I've got a ton of new adventures coming up next year, by the way...

On the last week of January, I'll be going on a trip to the Philippines to visit family. It'll be the shortest time I'll be spending in my island home due to work, but I'll be sure to make the most of it! As an added bonus, my penny-pinching self decided to take the cheapest flight home, resulting in the 15-hour, home-bound layover in Seoul; that might make for an interesting blog post.

Currently in development is a trip to Pittsburgh. I'll be visiting the Byzantine Catholic Seminary there for a personal tour/retreat there. More to follow...

Short as it is, that's all I've been up to so far. I'll be rolling out more writing sooner than you think! See ya!

Started From the Bottom, Now We 'Scape

Ever since I was given a PlayStation as a Christmas gift, gaming has been a definitive part of my life. It was gaming that introduced me to the ideas of hard work, achievement, and the adventures in between. Although I'm a 22 year old fresh out of college, I like to set aside some time away from the real world to let off a little steam.

One of the first games I was introduced to was RuneScape, which I started playing around the fall of 2005; I remember the day when I saw a few kids playing it at my neighborhood library and curiously asked what they were playing. I created an account and almost immediately fell in love with it. I learned that some of my friends at school had started playing it as well, and I used the game to occasionally chat with them. Today, I still occasionally log on to the game, though I'm balancing it out with more important things to do in the real world.

Recently, Jagex, the company behind RuneScape, released a documentary marking fifteen years since the game's release. You can watch it here. It's amazing to see how far something can go starting with so little. RuneScape's development from a simple MUD (multi-user dungeon) produced in a kitchen office to one of the most prominent MMOs in the world serves as a model for many who seek to make a big impact; persisting and believing in one's passions is what cultivates those passions to grow and become something larger, something that reaches out to people and solidifies itself as something to be remembered.

I know I'm sounding like a total nerd (or materialist) using a game like RuneScape as an example of "started from the bottom, now we're here," but I believe stories like this are what enable many to use what little they have to make something big. It doesn't even have to start with anything material; it could simply be an idea or concept that one cultivates and shapes over time and is shared to the point where it becomes larger than its original form. Even if it impacts only one person, there is at least one shift in conditions that will be ingrained for some time.

I'll again leave this post with some questions to reflect on. What are your passions? What crazy ideas or dreams do you have for them? What could be the potential impact of these dreams on the world around you? On yourself?