No Such Thing as a "True Copy"

While I was studying for my digital humanities course this semester, I came across an interesting article entitled, "Building Meaning in Digitized Photographs". It feels a bit strange to write about an academic work in a casual blog like this, but what I read had me thinking about a personal issue many of us have encountered at least once in our life.

Cutting to the chase, the author, Paul Conway, talks about the implications surrounding the digitization of images. Conway brings to question whether or not these digital copies are true and equal to the analog originals from which they were taken. He then draws various examples of different copying methods and analyzes how "true" these copies are to the originals. In spite of advancements in digitization technology, Conway concluded that digitized images were--to some extent--altered copies of their originals and thus never the "true" originals.

The reason why I'm bringing this article up is that it relates to the idea of the role model or the "idol". We all have had people to look up to as examples on how to live our life. "I want to be like them!" "I want to be selfless as her!" "I wish I could be as talented as them!" Questions like these race through our minds as we think about the people we admire. It's a good thing to look up to exemplary people such as our family and friends, but when does one take it too far?

As much as we can copy the good deeds we witness (and I pray that we continue to do so), we are not meant to copy another one's life to the smallest detail. Our interests may not be the same. I might be called for one thing, and you may be called to do another. You cannot force yourself to conform 100% to someone else's lifestyle in the hopes that you can do exactly what they do; you will inadvertently have a different experience and perspective from what the other has, no matter how detailed your "equivalent" is.

Besides, if everyone lived out their lives the same as each other--like the society portrayed in Lois Lowry's "The Giver"--where is the dynamic beauty of diversity and originality? Life wouldn't be as motivating and adventurous if you knew how it was going to turn out based on what you've seen in others. You have your own story; you have been authored by the Author of Life Himself, with the next chapters hidden away for you to write out by your choices. The world is a library of books coming and going, and you have a chance to write the next inspirational best-seller for generations to read. You can cite from past works, but your work must be your own. It is the newness of your impact that makes the difference. Pass on the ideas, but make it your own in your place in your time; that will be the epicenter of your works.

"...I saw that all the flowers He has created are lovely. The splendour of the rose and whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. I realised that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness and there would be no wild flowers to make the meadows gay." --St. Thérèse of Lisieux, "The Story of a Soul"

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Energy of the Embrace (Original Prose)

Today's post will not be broadcasted as widely as with recent posts, as this is a personal, but not secretive, matter to get off my chest. This is a piece from my life that is very intimate, but I will make this available for reading on the blog for you.

Today's one of those days again. Everything seems to have fallen in place, but it doesn't seem that it's just that that has fallen. Before me lies a book with my name on it; in my hand, a banged-up but still functional pen. Blank pages still comprise a majority of the work before my eyes.

A familiar shadow--a familiar soreness--creeps up on me as I contemplate the next word, the next page, the next chapter. What more must I write? How much story is left for me?

The cast of our story. Who am I, first of all? What am I? Where am I? Why am I? I seem to have formulated a partial picture of what my purpose, my calling is. I have gone through much in the years leading up to today; laughter, tears, that whole shebang. But for what end? How will I know the end-all of this? Is there some result to be achieved now or in the future? What will be my impact? Am I even going to make an impact?

And what of the others? Those who have gone before me have played their parts and have affected my journeys and directed me to places where I had never imagined I would go. There are those who still affect me to this day, whether positive or negative, but how long until they disappear? Will some stay until the end with me? There are many today who I zealously want to keep, even when it looks like it is their time to leave. Who is yet to come? Tomorrow will decide that question.

Are the next few chapters simply regurgitated material from past work? Sometimes I feel like it's the same thing over and over again, as if each successive chapter was a crappy reboot of the previous. What is the point of all this? My spirit is dry and I yearn for refreshment. I want something bright, fresh, new; something to reinvigorate me. I want it, but I don't know where to go or what to do.

This dryness has placed me once more in a state of isolation. I can communicate with others, yet I still feel like a fish out of water; I don't feel the connection, that burning, passionate, zealous love I have for the other. It's like those prison phone counters you see in the movies; they're there, but you're not there, instead locked away from the energy of the embrace.

That's it. The Energy of the Embrace. The fuel tank in my heart has been almost emptied at this point. I've been so caught up in the bustle of my life so far in this world that I forgot to rest and revive myself. I've been emptying myself out into outlets that did not reciprocate enough for me to realize the potential of the life I have been given. I need more. How do I obtain this Energy? Who am I Embracing?

Then I recall a voice too often ignored throughout my book.

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Of course. A simple, but profound answer to the various questions I've been asking. I've heard this so many times, yet I forget it so much. He is the one enough for me. He is the Energy I need to boost through the days.

This is My Body.
This is My Blood.

Strength for the journey. What was it that an angel said to Elijah one day? "Eat, or else the journey will be too much for you." I haven't been eating my meals much; that is, I eat, yet I don't let the nourishment get to my heart. I accept it physically, but am I letting my spirit get nourishment too?

The alarm clock goes off. Sunday morning. Typical morning routine, then get in the car.

Parked. I open the doors of the church and walk in.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Go time.

Persons of Interest! #5: Father Vincent Capodanno, USN (1929-1967)

Work and school have settled in this month, and I have just arrived back home after a long three-week training with my unit. In spite of these new additions to my schedule, I am still determined to post at least a few things per month.

It has been a while since my last Persons of Interest! entry. I'm changing things up a bit for this series by introducing someone who I have not personally known, yet has made a big impact on my vocational discernment.

 

Last night, I watched a wonderful documentary on the life of this priest on EWTN, "Called and Chosen". Fr. Capodanno was born into a family strong in the Catholic faith. Vin, as he was affectionately known at home, discerned early on in this life that he wanted to be a priest and serve as a missionary. He was told he didn't have to do all of that and that he could serve the Church back home, but his heart pulled strongly towards bringing Christ to those who were less than able to come to Him.

After completing his first mission with the Maryknoll Fathers, Father Capodanno learned of the outbreak of the Vietnam War. Knowing in his heart that American forces needed the presence of God in this new conflict, he petitioned his superiors for permission to join the military as a chaplain. Again, many told him he didn't have to go, but he longed to serve those who were stationed afar. He commissioned as an officer in the United States Navy and was eventually assigned to one of the Marine units fighting in Vietnam. Many Marines found solace in the presence of Fr. Capodanno, who often made it to the front lines with them, and he became a beloved figure among those he served. For his constant presence in the lives of these Marines, from serving Mass and hearing confessions to going on patrols, he earned the nickname of the "Grunt Padre".

On September 4, 1967, Marines found themselves pinned down by North Vietnamese forces during Operation Swift. Fr. Capodanno's unit was sent to where the fighting was thickest, and Fr. Capodanno, at the last minute, boarded the last helicopter headed to the hotspot. Once more, he was told he didn't have to go, but he knew many men would be needing comfort in the turmoil of war.

The priest, upon his arrival, rushed to aid the fallen. He comforted the wounded and the despairing; he gave last rites to the fallen; he helped drag people to safety; he did everything he could to convey the presence of Christ in a place where it seemed otherwise. However, in an attempt to rescue a wounded Navy Corpsman (medic), Fr. Capodanno was gunned down. For his courage and selfless service to his Marines, Fr. Vincent Capodanno was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor, the highest military award granted by the United States. His cause for canonization as a Saint in the Catholic Church has been opened as well, and many pray for the Grunt Padre's intercession to this day. His name is etched on the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C.

With the 50th anniversary of his death coming on Monday, I find Fr. Capodanno's story to be inspiring for those discerning life in mission. Many will say we do not need to go so far to make such an impact. Perhaps that may be true in some cases, but Fr. Capodanno provides a beautiful example of self-sacrifice and the drive to bring Christ to others.

Servant of God Vincent Capodanno, pray for us!

July 28-30: CFC-SFL/CBFL Conference 2017 - Road to Glory!

Could not have ended July any better. I've talked about CFC-FFL in a prior post, and I'm going to be a bit more direct in describing my wonderful adventures with them.

After finishing up another day of work on Friday, I took the train straight to O'Hare Airport. After a brief layover in Minnesota, I finally landed in Sacramento, California, albeit a bit late to the venue. At that point, I missed the first day, but I was lucky enough to be in contact with my friends who had already arrived from Chicago.

I woke up Saturday morning to commence my conference adventures. The conference was held at California State University at Sacramento (also known as Sac State), and it was an appropriate venue, as it was the conference for both the college and young adults' ministries of CFC-FFL this year. I got tapped to be an extraordinary Eucharist minister (which in Catholicism, is a lay person authorized to help the priest distribute communion during Mass); it was my first time being an EM with the hosts, and I naturally felt nervous, as I found myself handling the Body of Christ Himself. Mass went great that morning, though, and we began to attend the workshops that were set up for the day.

I signed up for four workshops. The first one I attended was about mission work. Now, I've done a couple of service trips prior to this, but this workshop reminded me about true commitment to a mission. A real mission isn't just a commitment of two weeks to help out in an impoverished area; it is to introduce love and hope into impoverished hearts and make a permanent impact that encourages growth, both physical and spiritual.

The second one I signed up for was about Mary, the Mother of God. This had a particular focus on Mary's veneration in the centuries following the foundation of the Church. Mary's various depictions and devotions throughout the world signify the universality of the Church's mission on earth. No nation or culture is excluded from the outreach of the Body of Christ. The singular yes of a young Jewish woman from Roman Palestine is a model for all Christians in their daily calls to holiness and discipleship.

Next came the workshop on vocational discernment. Hearing the stories from the panel (a married couple, a consecrated single, and a recently engaged Tom Park), I learned the dynamics of discernment. One does not simply pray to God and remain stagnant in the hopes that God will drop an answer in front of you; no, one must be on the move, following the path God has laid out for them, allowing for growth and the eventual realization of God's calling.

Snapshot from the Catholic Citizen workshop!

Finally, I attended the workshop on Catholic citizenship. With regard to political participation as a Catholic, it wasn't about how to vote or who to vote for, but rather how to maintain the integrity of your faith in the midst of today's issues. In light of the recent election, it broke my heart to hear about Catholics being shamed by their own brothers and sisters just because of who they voted for, and it was a relief to hear again that the Church does not look left or right, but up.

We had a powerful closing worship to end day two. We then came over to the Newman Center at Sac State for a rather lit afterparty. Now, I'm generally not one of those guys that immediately starts going into the dance floor and busting moves (I'm more of that guy in the back crossing his arms and bobbing his head thinking he's a cool cat), but I had a fun time chilling with my brothers and sisters from across the nation.

Sunday came, and we had our concluding Mass, worship, and speaker. The time came for the announcement of next year's conference. Turns out that SFL and CBFL will be having separate conference in New York and Houston, respectively. No biggie, I can come to both. Anyways, this conference ended up becoming my highlight for this month, and I am excited to start getting involved with SFL and CBFL again.

A Supersatiated Month

My postings have become a bit more sparse due to work and other obligations, but it doesn't mean I'll be abandoning this little blog of mine any time soon. The past month has been a roller-coaster, and I'll try to cover as much as possible while not overwhelming the reader's head.

It's been well over a month since I got my first job. My co-workers have been very welcoming to me and have been more than willing to answer my questions and get me trained on a variety of things. I've been able to pay for my family's expenses a bit, so I feel like I'm actually doing something to alleviate our overall financial situation. Plus, I'll have a bit of money for school. :D

I went to a few parties with some old college friends recently. Many of these friends have already graduated and are moving on to the next stages of wherever their lives take them. I hope against hope that I'll maintain some form of communication with them. I value these people tremendously for the impact they've had on me during my undergrad years, and I'm a bit stubborn to let these people fade into the chapters of the past.

Sparklers at an equally energetic graduation bash. Thanks for having us along, Kasia!

I got to spend this past weekend with some rather awesome colleagues at my unit. We had a dining out on Saturday evening (during which yours truly was part of the honor guard), followed by a PT test the morning after. I surprisingly set a new record on my PT test, which gave me a self-esteem boost and a new goal--beat that record.

Aside from other hangouts, I still have quite a lot of stuff to do for the rest of the summer. I've never felt so busy before during a summer, and it's a new, post-undergrad lifestyle I'll need to get adjusted to. Things are moving generally smoothly, but at the same time, I'm excited to see what the rest of 2017 has to offer me.

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Roman Catholic No More

My name is Mark, and I am no longer a Roman Catholic. You may or may not have heard that right.

As of this point in my life, I have left the rites and traditions of this Church, and I am no longer bound to them. All that I was obligated to observe as a Roman Catholic will no longer be considered my tradition. Ash Wednesday? Not something I am encouraged to do now. Divine Mercy Sunday? Not on my calendar either. Easter Sunday? Don't call it Easter anymore.

I've moved on from a defining chapter in my life, and there's no turning back now. I know, it's shocking. But I never said I was straight up leaving the faith, you know.

PLOT TWIST: I'm still Catholic, though not as many would assume.

Today, with the approval of both Cardinal Blase Cupich and Bishop Nicholas Samra, I have transferred from the Latin Catholic Church to the Melkite Greek Catholic Church.

It is true that I am no longer bound to the Latin Church, but who said the Catholic Church was simply that one church? It's much bigger than that.

Truth is, I have discovered that Catholicism is more than just Rome. It is not a single tradition, but rather a family of various Rites and traditions from across the globe. While Latin Catholics commence the Lenten fast on Ash Wednesday, other Catholics have already begun their third day or even third week of Great Lent. While the Latins bury the Alleluia for the duration of Lent, others still proclaim the joyful cry of the Resurrection before the Gospel. The Latins have their Masses, other Catholics have Qurbono on Sunday, yet others have a Divine Liturgy to celebrate.

Truth is, I never the Church altogether. I found more family members, and they have lovingly taken me in as one of their own. I still appreciate my heritage from my Latin Catholic upbringing, and it is that, combined with my new home, that I find what is truly means to be a Catholic.

My name is Mark, and I am now a Melkite Catholic. Yep, you heard that right. Or you may have never heard of that Rite.

Late Bloomer

Happy summer, readers! There's been so much going on in the weeks since my last post, so I hope to have you caught up on my recent experiences.

(Good news, yours truly finally has a job! Looks like I'll be resuming my commuting adventures and hopefully finding some interesting things to post about on the way.)

Anyways, I'd like to bring up a recent undertaking I've started. Sometime during Christmas 2015, I spent my vacation with my family in the Philippines. I always love to visit them, but my limited knowledge of Tagalog was a bit of a personal embarrassment. I already have a strong bond with my family back there, but I always felt I needed that bond to be stronger.

During a shopping trip with my family, I stepped into a bookstore. Lo, and behold...

FINALLY.

With generally little hesitation, I bought the book and took it back home to Chicago. I'm 22 years old now. I might be a bit of a late bloomer, but I'm more than willing to put in the work. I've already finished the first chapter, and I'm happy with the progress I've made, little as it is. It'd be great if I found someone else to practice and learn with, though I'm quite not confident as to who to go to.

It's about time I did this. Who knows, I might end up doing an entire post in Tagalog. Tayo na!