Digging Through the Dark and Dirty

"They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." --Revelation 7:14c

Today, I went down to St. Peter's in the Loop. Walking inside the church, I saw one of the confessionals with the light on--indicating the presence of a priest--and went inside.

The Sacrament of Penance may seem intimidating to many. For some, it can be very uncomfortable revealing certain life aspects that seem best kept to oneself. "What if the priest chews me out for doing this?" and "I can't be telling anyone about that" are a couple of the thoughts I've had pertaining to confession during my initial years of my formation as a Catholic--and sometimes, I admit, still have occasionally. Confession, to many, puts one on the hot seat.

Coming out of the confessional today had my thoughts racing about my faith formation. I had doubts about the genuineness of my personal prayer time, and wondered whether or not I was truly having a relationship with God through this. I felt I was reverting back to that phase in my life where I thought saying certain words in a set sequence would fulfill that relationship. Everything felt cold and isolated. I kept bringing this up with many priests as I opened up in the confessional for several years.

It was after today's confession that I realized the answer had been in front of me the whole time. The Sacrament of Penance in itself is a prayer, a communication with the divine. It was a way to open up about my personal life and the struggles that came along. It was personal as I admitted my sin through my own words as I dug deep into the darkest chambers of my heart. With these chambers exposed, the priest, an instrument of God's peace, reminded me of the Father's loving mercy which no sin can surpass. What was exposed was not merely a dirty soul, but an open path to renewal.

I have realized that this Sacrament has been my most personal means of prayer, and I hope to continue to utilize it in my formation and discernment. Catholics, do not fear the confessional; it is there to heal, not to punish. Take it as an opportunity to get personal with Christ, who forgave even those who crucified Him. The churches are not simply museums of saints come and gone, but hospitals for sinners (or saints in the making, I should say.)

Persons of Interest! #4: Charlie Company, 369th AG BN, 1st Platoon: Samurai

Having completed all training requirements, I am now qualified for my job in the Army! I should be set to come home this week and I'm aching to catch up upon arrival!

I'd like to shine the spotlight on my battle buddies. I have mentioned them in previous posts, but I very much stress their impact on me. Together, we have gone through quite the times. We've shared laughs, tears, and motivation all through these eight weeks of AIT. From struggling to stay awake in class to bowling at Ivy Lanes to rushing to recall formation back on post, I feel more built up as a person with the times I spent with them.

Now the time has come to go our separate ways. Some of us will be stationed away from our homes--even overseas--while others will be returning to serve our local communities. Each and every one of us has a unique story and lifepath, and all of these streams flowed into a beautiful experience during our time here. Now the time has come for these rivers to separate and go where they are directed.

Perhaps I will run into them again (Actually, that might happen with certain people this year. You know who you are.). Regardless of whether or not that happens, I pray that all of them find success and blessings throughout their lives, and I state again that I am proud to begin my service alongside them all.

A new generation of soldiers is about to emerge this week. Congratulations to all who made it!

SAMURAI UNITE! ONE TEAM ONE FIGHT!

You End Some, You Continue Some, You Begin Some

Happy 2017! It's the beginning of a new year, and of course, new adventures!

I'm very happy to have celebrated Christmas and New Year's with family and friends back home in Chicago, but alas, my holiday leave has come to an end, and I must travel back to Fort Jackson to continue (and finish) AIT.

Highlights from my leave included, but were not limited to:

• Watching Rogue One, Assassin's Creed, and Moana
• Witnessing my friends break a coffee table during a rough round of spoons
• A Christmas party with my brothers and sisters in SFL

I am not sad that these have come to an end; I'm glad because they happened. That's the key to cherishing memories.

I am very excited to reunite with my battle buddies back at Fort Jackson. Since the beginning of November, I've gotten to learn so much from them, and they truly have helped me grow and be motivated to overcome each passing week. We've only a few weeks left of training left now, so I pray we all can finish this strong!

I want to sidestep a bit and give a shout-out to my battle buddies. Some of us are entering the Army as a Reservist or a National Guardsman and will be returning back home after AIT--with myself included among them. Others came in as full-time, active duty members, who will have little time to say goodbye to their families back home before reporting to their first duty station--a sacrifice which earns them my utmost respect. Regardless of which component we entered in as, I have respect for my fellow soldiers who made the choice to raise their hand and took the oath of enlistment, a small but profound action that will go a long way. Perhaps, in the years following our graduation from AIT, we will see each other again; in a military or civilian setting, I do not know, but I hope we can catch up again after a few years or so.

With the beginning of a new year, more blank pages emerge to be written in our biographies. What will become of us this time? I have many predictions and theories about what may happen to me, but the outcomes are obviously subject to change (plot twists do end up becoming the most interesting, if not key, moments, though).

Here's to the future, with a hit from the past:

Set on You

One day, when I was about six years old, my dad gave me a couple of Beatles cassettes. Upon the first listen, I instantly fell in love with the band that would be one of my introductions to the world of rock.

At a later point, I began to listen to the solo projects of each member produced after the band's breakup. Recently, I was hearing a song by George Harrison (which I later learned was a cover) called "Got My Mind Set On You".

From my perspective, if the Beatles had continued on past 1970, their sound in the 80s would have been no different than this. George is (currently) my favorite Beatle because of this song. :)

Anyways, I wanted to bring up this song because it provoked quite a few thoughts within me. I've got my mind set on certain goals (not necessarily relationship-wise, as is the main intention of the lyrics), but I know there's time and effort involved in reaching them. But it's good to not jump the gun sometimes, as you might miss important details. It also has proved to be a bit of a motivator as well. I do have a plan of attack set for my future career, and so far, I'm progressing at a steady pace.

Thanks, George.

2016: The Final Days

I suddenly realize that we're in December now. Things are starting to gradually fall into place as this year ends.

I spent the first half of my year studying to earn my bachelor's degree. It was stressful enough to fit all of that in three years. But now I completed that first step towards my future career. I have yet to apply for a graduate program, but I hope to attain that step soon.

I spent the second half training to become a soldier. It was a bombshell for everyone (myself included), yet I felt like this fit in well with what I strove to be. BCT pushed me beyond my perceived limits, and I found myself no longer in the mental purgatory that kept me stagnant for the past few years. I like to think that I'm finally moving with the plan, as I have discovered many things about myself that have lit the way to where I am now.

As I enter the final phase of my initial training in the Army, I look forward to the new adventures that await in the coming year. Being in the Reserve, I already have a game plan set for when I get back home in Chicago. Greater challenges wait for me in 2017; time to give them a taste of the new me!

Persons of Interest! #3: Echo Company 2-13th 3rd Platoon - Spartans

It feels good to access this blog again! I have recently just graduated Army Basic Combat Training, and it makes me proud to say that I have trained alongside the best men and women over those ten weeks.

From reception to graduation, I came to know these people as my battle buddies. Sure, we had our infights and whatnot, but we learned to work together as a team to complete our tasks. At the same time, we developed a strong bond, motivating each other to push beyond their perceived limits and become something more.


I can recall a vast array of memories made during BCT. Shenanigans in the bay, making way for Charlie Company at the dining facility, and my constant begging for a battle buddy to the restrooms. I could go on, but those will be for another post.


Some of these people left the platoon early on, others went on to Advanced Individual Training (AIT) at other posts, and others (myself included) stayed on post for our AIT. Regardless, I wish all of these people the best in their future endeavours.

The Countdown Begins...

Since I have less than three days to ship out, I might as well leave this on my website in case I am not able to post afterwards. If anything, I hope to see some of you guys when I come back, and I'll have quite a treasure trove of stories to tell!