Pascha and the Lenten Fast I Didn't Even Know I Was Doing

Christ is Risen! Alleluia! Familiar words for faithful Christians after a laborious observance of Lent. Through forty days of prayer, fasting, and alms-giving, and then the culmination of the Triduum, we arrive once more at the joyous holy day of Pascha/Easter!

This Lent was very challenging for me this year. I faced several difficulties and temptations which often threw me off my intended path. I often forgot that we were in Lent and I found myself falling into old habits which I believed to have discarded long ago. My prayer time became a roller-coaster of talking to God vs. mumbling a few Jesus Prayers without really paying attention to my own words. I became doubtful and questioned my commitment not only to this year's Lent, but to my faith in general.

But this questioning and doubt was in itself a wake-up call for me, a sort of subconscious Lenten sacrifice. I may have had numerous failings during the season, but I'm very glad to have noticed the issues. It is this self-assessment which assisted me as I explained my Lenten situation to the priests in the confessionals and allowed me to better shape my outlook on where God was leading me. I felt affirmed by the various friends I turned to for guidance and accountability. Visiting Christ Himself in the Eucharist bathed me in a sea of assurance and hope that my questions and doubts would be answered at the proper time.

It was in this Holy Week that I saw everything fall into place; I witnessed it in a way larger than I had expected. There was a warmth in my soul that I had not felt since I left for basic training in August, and there was also a greater pull--an acceleration in movement towards where God was leading me. I think I know where to go further at this point, though, of course, there is quite some uncharted territory left to go. Something to pray for more ardently as the years come and go.

It's key that we check ourselves once in a while. Perhaps there may be something we may have overlooked in the questions we ask ourselves daily. Not only can we find a potential answer, but also potential new questions to help better understand where God is leading us. As questions and answers come and go, we discover hidden treasures within ourselves which God has laid out.

What roads and treasures do you think God has laid out for you?

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." --Jeremiah 1:5a

My AncestryDNA Results!

About eight weeks ago, I mailed a tube of my spit to the folks at Ancestry.com. After a slight delay due to increased demand for the DNA kits during St. Patrick's Day, I finally managed to get my results. And now, here is what I got. *drumroll*

Generally expected of someone of my stock, though deep down inside, I wished there could have been a surprise ethnicity in the mix. Regardless, I'm very happy to have taken a closer look at my roots, and I may or may not get my parents to try it themselves. Perhaps I could find out more from that, but that's for another time.

Click here to order an Ancestry kit for yourself. It's very much worth the wait!

Give a like on Facebook and follow me on Instagram! Happy reading!

A Spark of Conversion

Not too long ago, I found an advertisement on Facebook for a web series entitled "City of Saints". I was interested and signed up to receive updates on new episodes. Yesterday, I received an email informing me of the new episode, which you can view yourself in the link provided.

City of Saints Episode 1: The Good Thief

After having viewed this, I was exceptionally touched by Alex's conversion story. I, along with many others, can relate to the struggles, both external and internal, that he had faced in life. Many times, I often felt that I had no one to turn to for guidance, no matter where I looked.

It took various personal struggles in high school and college for me to realize that God the Father is always watching over me, even when I feel like He's not there. Every fall I have experienced has led to a greater rise; and it will only become greater in the years to come, in spite of the trials yet to come, as long as I keep my desires fixed on Christ, the Summit of my life.

Faith has always been important. With the recent troubles going on in our communities, we need to keep our focus on hope and strive to repair and build up those who cannot sustain themselves. We all have a calling to change at least one person's life and potentially start a chain reaction of change; question is, are we going to answer it?

I highly recommend that you sign up to subscribe to the City of Saints series. There are more inspirational stories to come! Also, please like my Facebook page and follow me on Instagram for blog updates! Thanks for stopping by!

My Raw Future

It was a weird feeling when I got out of college. I transitioned into basic training and AIT, and when I got out of that and came back to Chicago, it felt even weirder. In the years leading up to this, I've had relatively smooth transitions between education levels from grade school onwards, easily anticipating what I was going to go through next.

Not this time. Although I've already applied for an online graduate program and am currently anticipating a transition to graduate school, I find myself in a rather awkward state. I flounder about, occasionally job hunting and squaring away a few tasks at home. I go back to my old school and socialize with my friends who are still riding the college struggle bus (though many of these will soon graduate this semester. Good luck, guys!). This floundering makes me feel like I don't quite know what I'm doing exactly in the now.

Sometimes, when I'm alone at home, the uncertainty gets a bit tense. The "I don't know" of the now becomes the "I don't know" of the years to come. Sure, there's a game plan for the future, but can such a plan be sustained with what I have now? There is so much to think about.

But I realize I'm getting rather impatient and, as a result, I see myself jumping the gun. I realize that I'm only just beginning to get a bigger taste of the world beyond the bachelor's degree. I need to get a feel for my surroundings and know them before I tackle the goals head on. It takes time for a hot meal to fully cook, and eating it now will leave a bad taste in your mouth and will probably also send you to the hospital.

Patience.

It Was Gonna Happen Eventually...

After a few months of hesitation, I finally decided to make a Facebook page for the blog. Facebook friends, now you won't have to feel awkward stalking my personal profile for posts you may have missed out on.

(Also, I wanted to get a feel for posting on the new page rather than on my profile by writing this.)

Feel free to invite your friends to give the page a like!

Break from the Break

Life can get pretty hectic, even when you think you're in a break period.

Today, I went on a men's retreat at St. John Cantius in Chicago (aka America's Most Beautiful Church). Figured I needed to reflect a little more on where I've gone in life and to discern a little more where God wanted to take me.

There was a lot of material given during the retreat talks relating to faith and theology, but what really struck me was the prayer involved. Undergoing the Sacrament of Penance, attending Holy Mass, and praying the Rosary and the Stations of the Cross became a revitalization for me who hadn't done most of these things in quite some time. I began to rethink the status of my faith and I realized I needed to be a bit more upfront and honest with myself.

Too long have I been stagnant waiting for God to drop answers from the sky; I know He has the answers, but I need to act if I truly wish to participate in His will. God's not a vending machine through which a certain number of prayers will get me the things I need, much less the things I want. I need to give myself to the One who gave Himself for me. That's how you get personal with God.

A Snail Mail Challenge

I've been chilling in my room for the few months following my return from Fort Jackson. I look around and see the numerous unused envelopes and stamps from basic training. And an idea pops into my head...

When I had my phone taken for the duration of basic, I was left with the option of communicating via traditional mail, for which I had to pay in order to get the needed materials to send a simple letter back home to my family and friends. It felt very weird at first--not having done this in well over a decade--but I soon got the hang of handwriting letters and addresses again.

In comparison to the texts I casually sent over my phone and my laptop, these messages felt more personal; instead of the relaxed convenience of typing on a touchscreen, I felt the strain on my wrist as I wrote and scribbled my messages. I felt the effort put into this communication; for the first time, I felt I was actually caring for my loved ones by making these mailings. Of course, I did feel something similar with digital messages, but in my case, the effort and the care felt real when I wrote my heart out.

When I was given my phone--and with it, the ability to text again--I felt different about the way I communicated after ten weeks of snail mail. Texting never felt as personal as writing a letter. Typing and leaving it for someone to eventually pick up their phone and see it didn't have the ring of, "I put in some of my resources just to speak my heart to you." I wanted to do more with the old styles, strange as it sounded.

And that feeling still echoes with me to this day. I want to experience the effort of caring and setting aside my resources for someone I love. I want that intimate feeling of true communication again. I want to pour my whole heart into creating a message that matters.

I have set a challenge for myself and for you readers as well if you wish to join in:

I'm going to start mailing people again. If you'd like, message me your mailing address (it will be kept confidential, of course), and I'll get to writing you a simple, but hopefully heartfelt letter. No matter where you are, I'll send you a message. For me, this is a personal exercise for my communications and relationships with others, and I encourage you to give it a try. It heavily affected my relationships with my loved ones during and after basic, and I'm happy with the changes. Happy writing!